Warlord in love

Inner demons

This time it was hard to breathe, but he wasn't around. She was lying alone on the floor of her room unable to move, unable to look away. In front of her was a portal, large circle entangled with particles of bright violet and blue shades. Up she saw fire, she trembled under the flames, she could hear screaming and than in one brief moment she knew where the home is. She blacked out. Fever followed, threatening to destroy her body from overload.

Thinking was always bad idea, especially at night when his loneliness knew how to break his mood into smallest fragments of despair. He forced himself to close his eyes, body was aching mind was racing into wrong direction, but still he managed to slip down into dreamland.

He wasn't surprised when he met her there. But this time her dress was red, and this time thin fabric was reveling to much skin on her lean long legs. Something else was also different, and his satisfied grin was soon replaced with angry jaw clenching, fist tightening.

He was far enough to pass unnoticed, but scene reminded him of his painful past, of Kattegat and his curse to never touch a women again. Tall and slender male figure was approaching her, she was inviting him to come closer, he still wasn't able to see the face of a man, but judging by the messy long haircut he knew, he knew that the great lover Hvitserk came to satisfy lovely little miss Aerlene.

He wanted to wake up, he wanted to look away, but then the sharp edge of long knife in his brother hand cut open the red dress, and she was letting her hair fall for him, she was making a step closer, now without the dress, and perfect in all her beauty.

He felt heat taking over reason, he knew he should wake up, but the sight of her bare breast was waking up something strong inside of him, something hidden and buried long time ago.

"Why are you watching them brother, you know that you are not a man? Why waste time then, you should go and kill somebody instead, that is the only thing you are good for, isn't that right Boneless?"

Nightmare was at its peak, with that voice behind him, and soon after the face which was hunting him without any rest. Still he ignored his deceased brother this time.

"Who said I would want her anyway, why to lust after women when they are all the same, there is no glory there Gods won't speak about Hvitserk's bed warmers, nor about Ubbe's crops!"

He said that very convincing even managing to convince himself, he turned his head missing the scene of fiery kiss.

He was looking at Sigurd's face this time, missing his blonde hair and even his music; he needed to spend time with his shadow, tearing him inside that he will never see him alive, that all is his fault.

"I regret my rage, every day!" He said with teary eyes. "You know I would never do that, but I wasn't myself then, I just couldn't stop the animal inside me!"

Sigurd was laughing at his tears, and tears were falling faster, face of a brother was fading away, leaving him completely alone in the dark room with no windows.

"You have failed the Gods Ivar!" The voice from which even the mountains trembled said to his ear, voice without a face.

"It is not my fault you made me this way!" he started yelling now afraid of their rage, angry at their decision to make him so different, so alone.

Rage of Gods manifested as a strong centrifugal force that was spinning air around him, approaching him with every spin lifting him up, breaking the black wall with his body, lifting him up, so high that the world started unfolding in front of his eyes, all hills woods, rivers were now just a tiny pieces and above was fire, above was something similar to the Christian's version of Hell described the in their holly books.

All he could differentiate in all that noise, of fallen men and horses, was a female voice.

"Help me!" She was screaming, he opened his eyes covered in sweat. His heart was pounding and he rushed subconsciously towards the source of the disturbing sound.

He arrived at her room, which he had never visited before, but now he just had to see what happened. She saw her lying on the floor, unconscious, and she was shaking. He touched the skin on her forehead and he almost burned his hand. Fear moved in his eyes.

He was trying to wake her up, but shaking her shoulders strong, he was stabbed by fear again, what if he hurts her? Her shoulders were so little in his hands, so fragile and the strength in his arms was almost godlike he was crushing skulls of his enemies and those who dared to stand his way without slightest effort.

He took her gently from the floor putting her in his lap, embracing her with one hand, holding her tight, while he used free hand to drag them to the bed. When he laid her down, he delicately removed strain of her hair from her pale face. Thinking to himself that her God must be real artist for creating her, so flawless so unique among women.

She was breathing heavy under his face, he dared to touch her skin one more time, and then while his lips were on her forehead she opened her eyes.

She was sick, felt like death is just a breath away, but she also was very much alive when she meet his gaze. He looked so afraid, so full of emotions and totally different than daily dangerous Ivar the commander and a coldhearted killing machine.

After that day in the woods, after realizing that brothers don't talk anymore, she needed to know why. While Hvitserk refused, Ubbe told her the story of their victory over Wessex, the story about their brother death, and their murderer brother.

She was giving her best to understand him and his actions, but that was to much even for hers over understanding nature. After that she was looking at him differently getting closer to Hvitserk, starting to feel something for him.

"Aerlene stay with me!" He was whispering as her eyelids were trying to hide her eyes again.

"Ivar I don't know what is happening with me..." She said quietly, and closed her eyes again.

"How can I help you, tell me? Tell me!" He didn't know a thing about medicine, but she was the expert.

"I have fever... so you must lower my temperature... you need to put me in cold water" she said squeezing his hand, looking him in the eyes again, and King Egbert's pool was the first place that came to his mind.