The fear of commitment has become a serious epidemic and it has brought nothing but trouble into Reagan Parker's life. She always assumed she would be married by the time she turned thirty. Well her thirtieth birthday is only a year away and her bo...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"Reagan." The familiar voice had her stiffening at the counter as she gathered up the snacks she had bought for what had become the usual Friday night movie with Austin. He was showing her all his favorite cult classics. Last Friday it had been Ace Venture: Pet detective. Tonight it was supposed to be The Big Lebowski.
She turned slowly to see Chase, standing behind her with a six-pack of Coors light and a bag of cool ranch Doritos. She had known eventually they would run into each other, it wasn't that big of a city. However, she had been hoping it would be later, much later. It was still too soon in her book. He looked different somehow, maybe it was the fact that he was cleaned-up and his hair was shorter.
Reagan forced a smile onto her lips, "Chase. What a surprise." Her heart felt like it was going to leap out of her chest and her stomach was going to crawl up her throat. His looked her over, making her feel like she was standing naked and vulnerable in front of him.
"You look good, are you...good?" His tone was light but the question hinted at something else, there was a double speak to his words.
Reagan wanted to lie and tell him that she was great, that everything in her life had gotten a hundred times better after their break-up. Except the truth was she had to take each day as they came, some were easier. Somedays she rarely thought about him and the life they had shared together. She had begun to have more of those days, which was good news for her.
Still, there were bad days. Days when she didn't want to get out of her bed. Days when she missed him deeply, missed the life they had together.
"I'm doing okay. I'll be okay." Reagan replied her lips falling into a more realistic smile. Chase gave her a small smile in return, one that said he might just understand her.
"How are you, though? You look great." She wasn't trying to put on airs. Reagan could appreciate that he didn't look like the bum he had the last couple of months of their relationship. Maybe that was half of the problem they had when they were together. They had gotten to complacent and comfortable each other to see they weren't moving forward. Perhaps that had been the real undoing of their relationship.
"I'm doing good. Actually, I'm here-" Before he could finish whatever he had been about to tell a tall brunette appeared from the candy aisle.
"Hey, Baby. Do you want the peanut M&M's or the pretzel ones?" Reagan felt like someone had punched her right in the stomach. He was here with another girl. A beautiful girl that had incredible legs. She looked absolutely outside of his usual type.
What was she even talking about? His type had been Reagan for the past five years, obviously, he would want something different. He would want something better.
Chase looked nervous, shifting from foot to foot, "Whichever one you want is good with me, Sasha." She gave him a bright smile before disappearing down the aisle again. Reagan felt the urge to run away as fast as her feet would carry her but they kept her rooted in place.
"Listen, Reagan..." He was going to try and explain himself but he didn't owe her any explanation. They weren't together.
They were no longer apart of each other's lives. She held up a hand, "Don't, please. I'm glad you have someone and I wish you the best. I really do." She couldn't stand to look at him anymore and she was afraid that if she didn't leave that moment she would lose her composure.
Reagan turned her back to him, never looking back as she stepped out of the store and let her feet carry her numbly to Austin's apartment. She couldn't remember how she had gotten there if anyone asked. It was just one moment she was looking at Chase and the next she was sitting on Austin's couch, crying her eyes out.
"Oh my god. It was so awful, Austin." She cried, wiping at her running nose with the back of her hand. She didn't care if she looked a mess right now because that is how she felt on the inside like a big giant mess, "He looked happy, you know? With his new girlfriend, Sasha." She mocked the name even though she knew it wasn't his new girlfriend's fault that she felt this way.
Austin sat across from her on the couch, simply watching her as she poured her heart out. Reagan took in a deep breath trying to calm herself down, "I don't know why I am so upset. It's been almost a year and I was the one that broke it off. I should be happy for him that he is happy."
"I think that you should stop telling yourself how and what to feel, Red. Just let yourself feel whatever it is you feel, even if you think its stupid." His words were spoken softly and calmly.
She blinked back more tears, holding his dark gaze, "Do you think..." Her words fell off, feeling unsure about what she wanted to request of him. He had already put up with her crazy, was it really fair to ask anything more from him?
Austin eased himself closer to her, "Do I think?" He pressed her to finish her question.
Her cheeks burned, eyes focusing on her hands, unable to meet his eyes, "Do you think you could just hold me for a little bit? Just until everything settles?" Slowly she lifted her gaze to meet his, nervous what she would see.
He gave her a gentle smile, before opening his arms for her, "I'll hold you for as long as you want me to, Red. What are friends for if not to be a shoulder to cry on and a warm hug in hard times." She let out a small laugh at his cheesy words as she crawled into his arms, happy to have someone strong she could lean on when she felt weak.
