And then I met you...

What if I'm not ready

...

The sound of my phone ringing woke me up. Probably it was mom who wanted to tell me that I was being late already.

"Yes?" I answered without looking who it was. But from the voice I was right. Mom. "I'm already getting dressed, I'll be right with you," I said and ended the call.

I was almost right, they want to have one more family breakfest before we have to leave. So basically I had less then five minutes to get actually ready before they come and kill me. When I turned around to wake up Sebastian he wasn't there. I had an empty bed side next to me.

But I saw a little piece of paper on the glass door. I walked to it and found his handwriting.

I'm so sorry I can't be here when you wake up, but I wanted to be home when you get there, so I had to leave very early.

I'm already officially missing you, see you soon,

With love, your Sebastian.

This small stupid letter brought a smile on my face. Well, I was sad too when I didn't see him but to be honest, it didn't matter. Because he's going to be there when I finally arrive. He was gone. And nothing ever felt so wrong. But the fact that he's going to be there at the end gave me selfish hope.

When I got to my bag and took out my last not worn clothes I still smiled. This situation was perfect even when it hurt me.

Handwritten love letters will never go out of style. I know that the note he left me wasn't a real love letter but it felt something else. It felt like his love was in it.

I put on dark blue denim shorts ( I rolled up the bottom side a little because the ripped side tickled too much, I added plain white T-shirt ( it was a little bit over sized and with a low V neck, then I put on blue infinity scarf with white stripes. For accesories I put on brown artificial leather sandals, golden circle earrings, two plane golden rings, a golden watch, golden sunglasses and brown artifical leather rectangle bag.

Everything else that I had in my room I just threw into my bag and started going. I wasn't totally aware of what I was doing since I was still pretty tired.

I would really like mornings if they started later.

Before I closed my "cabins" door behind me I looked back at smiled. So many good memories are going to be left behind here. So many good memories.

"Morning," I said to the whole table when I finally got to them.

"Morning, you look fantastic dear," said Olivia with a huge smile and came to hug me. She didn't even let me put my bags down. How nice she is.

"Come, sit and eat something, we're leaving about 20 minutes," said mom and pulled out a chair for me.

"Thanks, you look great," I said to her.

"Thank you. I feel better, you were right, talking helps," I was proud. Of my mom. And me. I gave a good advice? That's something you don't see everyday. But it felt good. Maybe thanks to me, they're happy. And actually won't get into a divorce as a first thing when we land in DC.

It gave me confidence. The one thing I've been missing my entire life. I used to think that confidance came as the fat goes. But chubby people are incredibly happy.

I like them even more.

I also like people like supoermodel Cara, skinny and beautiful. But I do think that curvy people's happiness is something only they can have. Maybe if I gained few pounds I would also get it. But I can't be sure of that.