Smoke

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It burns my throat
In the most delightful of ways-
I am becoming addicted
To the discomfort
That it brings
Because at least
This is something
I have control over.

I used to think
That I'd never need to light up
And inhale smoke.
I used to think I never could.

But.
Circumstances have changed.
And, now-
Now I need it.
I can't eat,
I can't sleep,
I can't stop crying,
I'm having so many panic attacks...

And, so-
So, I smoke.
And it burns
My throat
Beautifully.

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