The Quest For Ahoges

"I'm Not A Happy Vegan!"

'Twas a fine Saturday morning, and Chloe (Our dear protagonist) decided she wanted to waste 12 hours of her day. She opened her laptop that she kept turned on because she enjoyed to waste the electricity her parents spent their hard-earned money on, and Skype her 'g' Toni.
"Ayy, wassup G?" Chloe called as Toni picked up her call.
"Nothing, until you called." She didn't appreciate such a sarcastic response.
"That's cyber bullying." Chloe shot back.
"It's okay, you could be Chloe and be vegan. Oh, wait."
"It's not my fault I'm a vegan! I'm not a happy vegan!" Her mother had given her the news that she was to become vegan only yesterday, yet it seemed that Chloe was being endlessly tortured with pictures of both meat and grass.
"Well, regardless if you're vegan or not, you're still pretty weird..." wow, rude.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Let's see; You're always on top of your friend's lap, you fangirl over incest, you listen to people scream for entertainment, you-"
"Okay, Okay, I get it. How can i 'change' myself to meet your standards?"
Toni went silent for a moment.
...
"Get an ahoge."
"What?!" Chloe didn't understand how one simply 'got' and ahoge...
"We journey around, look for gross places that sell hair and other questionable items, and we get ahoges."
What.
Chloe didn't really care at this point, she just wanted to be accepted.
"Okay, fINE G."
"SKEET SKEET YEET YEET"
"HOE WYD"
"IDK FIGHT ME"
...
The two of them made a plan, and within a week, they found the opportunity to meet up. Neither of their family members questioned the large amount of luggage packed or the money that had gone 'missing', so they were both pretty much in the clear.
"Why do we even need ahoge?"
"Well, why does every Danganronpa protagonist need an ahoge?"
"TO UNLOCK THE TRUE FULL POWER OF AHOGENESS AND THE ULTIMATE PROTAGONIST POWER"
"EXACTLY BRO"
"BRO"
"BRO"
...
After a few minutes of what you could call 'awkward' silence, Chloe tried to make conversation.
"So," Chloe started  "Where are we planning to get these ahoge?"
"Hmm. Absolutely no ide- IKNOWITSEARLYBUTIJUSTFOUNDYOUTHEPERFECTAHOGE"
"WHAT??"
Toni ran over to a patch of a grass, picked something up, and made her way back over to Chloe with the proudest grin on her face.
"I found you the most perfect ahoge"
"Yeah, I got that part hoe, now show me the goods."
Toni opened her hand and produced a rather long leaf, the proceeded to place it on top of Chloe's head.
"Ayy G, now you've got protagonist powers, AND people know you're the vegan character, so no one will pick you anyway."
Oh.
Oh.
"SORE WA CHIGAU YO! I WILL BE THE MOST POPULAR PROTAGONIST; THE AUDIENCE SHALL LOVE ME!" Chloe exclaimed
"Bro, the audience will only love you if your tits are as big as your ego, and right now your ego is about as big as your level of witty comebacks."
"My tits may be small, but my heart is big!"
...
"Seriously though where are we getting this illegal hair?" Chloe yet again asked.
"It's only illegal if you make it illegal, and I still have no clue, let's ask google or something, there are plenty of weebs on the internet."
'Where to get an agoge' wait shit.
'Where to get an ahpge' god damn it.
'Where to get an ahogw' WHY.
'Where to get an ahoge'
"Finally. Jesus."
"Stfu hoe it says we should go to japan for an authentic cosplay wig and then style it with Mount Fuji air."
"What."
"You BAKA. We just have to go to japan and get a wig and then style it."
"Why do we have to go to japan we can literally just get a delivery from japan."
"Because 1. We're both poor 2. You're the one forcing me to get an ahoge anyway 3. People lie on the internet 4. It takes too long and 5. It's more fun that way."
"How can we afford to go to japan when we can barely afford to buy a first live ticket on love live?"
"Duh, we sneak on."
"Chloe how the fuck do we sneak onto a plane without getting caught?"
"If assassination classroom has taught me anything, we just need to threaten them with a bomb and they'll let us on without a problem."
"That's literaLLY THE MOST ILLEGAL THING YOU'VE SAID WYD"
"IT'S NOT A REAL BOMB HOE"
"ITS STILL ILLEGAL"
"Rate up for coptori in Japan."
"Fuck lets go."
"Yeeeeee"
"We're not hijacking a plane though we'll literally get arrested."
"Awww"
"We're Japanese children who ran from their country and need to find a way back to their devastated parents"
"Omg great idea Toni"
"I know right I'm just full of them."
"One slight problem."
"??"
"YOU'RE ENGLISH AND I'M PORTUGUESE"
"Yo they don't know our life stories. Besides you literally just came up with using terrorism stfu. We'll work on it trust your mother. Have faith in me son."
"MuM IM A GIRL"
"STFU NAGISA YOU'RE A bOY."
"lol hope"
"Yeet btw you still have a leaf on your head."
Oh. Chloe forgot about that. Picking the leaf from her head, Chloe discarded it and tossed it to the floor.
"Chloe bro wyd"
"What do you mean?"
"YOU JUST THREW OUT SOME OF YOUR FOOD SUPPLIES, YOU'RE GOING TO STARVE NOW."
Oh dear lord Ouma, please help this girl named Chloe. It was going to be a long couple of days. (You know because time somehow works faster and unrealistically in fiction stories lol plot)