Riding For My Ballah

Chapter 14: Unable to Deal

Jayden aka JayBird

Me and Mackenzie were back at her house and she was cooking me breakfast. She was dancing around in a tank and some tiny ass shorts. I tried my best not to look, but got damn. She looked so happy, she been happy since Mason left out this morning. I'm honestly getting tired of him, he is no good for my bestfriend. I don't want to take away her happiness but he gone do her wrong. I would rather get the tears over with now instead of having to deal with them later.

"What's on your mind Jay?" She asked, setting a plate of blueberry pancakes with maple syrup and whip cream on top. She sat a cup of apple juice next to me before taking a seat across from me.

"Nothing, I'm just chilling." I replied, starting to stuff my face. I drizzled some more maple syrup across my pancakes as she looked at me.

"You lying, but ok. You will tell me when you are ready."

"Do you really like Mason?"

"I love Mason, probably more than I should actually. He makes me happy though, so."

"So you are telling me, that the guy that cheats on you. The guy that lies to your face. The same guy that leaves you for days is the one that makes you happy."

"Everybody fucks up, including you. sometimes you have to forgive and move on."

"He cheated on you for Christ sakes"

"He got head a few times, he didn't fuck the girl."

"How stupid are you?"

"We made a deal, that if he could show me that he could be faithful for a month, We could have sex."

"Ok, so what happens when the month is over? You think your Pussy so good it would lock him down and make him stop cheating?"

"I trust him Jayden, have some faith in him. Damn."

"I think you are using him to get over Levi, this has nothing to do with love. He is the closest thing to Levi, because they have similar characteristics. So you jumped in a relationship with him because he reminds you of Levi."

"He isn't anything like Levi he---"

"Mason will leave for days. Sometimes he wont even answer the phone. When he is here he makes you feel like wifey. Sounds like Levi to me."

"He just--"

"Does your heart still belong to Levi?" She got quiet and just sat there for a second watching me finish my pancakes.

"Are you going to answer the question?" I said finishing off my apple juice.

"I will always love Levi, he was my heart. Shit, he still is my heart. No one will ever mean to me what he did. We were supposed to get married and have kids. How can I do that with someone else? It was our plan--"

"So you are saying that all this we have is nothing. That what we are doing wasn't supposed to happen? That I don't even have a chance at your heart because your DEAD boyfriend still has it?" Mason said from behind Mackenzie.

She was so caught up in her own thoughts that she didn't hear him come in. I saw him come in long before this conversation took a turn. I heard his car in the drive way, and that's when I started the Levi conversation. I saw that as the chance to begin their downfall. She turned toward him and could see the anger and hurt radiating from his body. He had his arms crossed against his chest, and the vein in his neck seemed to have its own pulse. Yall may call me a traitor, but I call it surviving. Their breakup, saves my life, that's all that matters.

"You gone say something or are you just going to sit there looking at me?" Masons voice boomed through the kitchen.

"No, that's not what I'm saying Mason." She replied.