Suicide Attempt • Larry Stylinson

• Chapter 18 •

BIG PLOT TWIST. HOLY SHIT, PREPARE YOURSELF.

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Louis had to take some minutes to realise what Zayn had just said. Did he really say 'Liam James Payne died'? No, he couldn't have. That isn't realistic. Why would he say that? Was he trying to make Louis vulnerable again? This can't be happening. Maybe Zayn was only trying to come up with excuses for crying?

Because this didn't make any sense to Louis.

''Wha-what?'' Louis asked, trying to keep away his tears.

He didn't get an answer, Zayn kept silent as he sobbed, every now and then letting small hiccups leave his shaking body.

Despite whatever was going on, Louis wanted to comfort Zayn, even as weird as that sounded. Zayn had after all made Louis' life a literally living hell. Zayn was even one of the main reasons as to why Louis tried to kill himself that night -that now seemed so far away-. But Zayn looked so so different like this, all sad and stuff.

''What- what do you mean?'' Louis whispered as he crawled over to Zayn. He reached out his hand to lay it on top of one of Zayn's shaking knees but Zayn quickly pulled away, not wanting to be touched by Louis. Not now at least.

Zayn still didn't answer and Louis got more and more curious with every passing minute. What did Zayn really mean?

''Zayn, I have no idea what you're talking about, but I suggest you tell me immediately because I -at least- deserve that from you,'' Louis said as he sat himself down besides Zayn against the wall. ''After all this time, I deserve to know. For all these months, for every week, every hour, every minute, every second, I've been scared, and you, Zayn, has been the one causing it. So you better tell me right now what you mean by 'Liam James Payne died' because I don't understand shit,'' Louis admitted.

Zayn was shaking even more now, pulling at his hair to keep himself from going insane.

''I-I- Liam died,'' Zayn got out before he screamed, trying to block out every thought of Liam, because he knew, that if Liam was on his mind, he'd do crazy things, again.

''Obviously,'' Louis whispered, trying to calm down Zayn so he would be able explain himself.

''No-no. You don't fucking understand, Louis!'' Zayn shouted, hitting his own head with his fists.

Why the hell was Zayn hitting himself?

''No Zayn, I don't understand, so tell me?'' Louis said gently.

''I- we- he was- no.'' Zayn took a deep breath before whispering, ''Louis, I loved him.''

The hell?

Louis was shocked, startled, paralysed at the spot. What did Zayn mean by loving him?

''Zayn, tell me everything.'' Louis gently stroked Zayn's back in an attempt to help him calm down.

Louis didn't know why he acted like this, Zayn was his 'enemy' after all. Maybe it was because seeing this side of the raven haired boy made himself realise that maybe, just maybe, he wasn't alone with feeling hurt and lost.

''I- I can't, I promised myself,'' Zayn whispered, his voice low and hoarse.

''Zayn- //Zayn//! Look at me, boy,'' Louis ordered.

The crying boy slowly looked up at Louis, whose face was full of concern, and kept his gaze there. ''Now tell me,'' Louis said.

''Everything?''