PASSAGE ( J. JUNGKOOK )

23:20

04. ADORNING MY VEINS

i remember how happy i was to finally hang out with you.

just seeing each other that once, you covered in blood and me drowning in pain that i was trying to play off, and then only hearing your voice over the phone was more than enough for me. i wanted to ask if you planned on ever seeing me again, but i guess you beat me to it when you called me and jokingly demanded that i meet you at a nearby park.

"jungkook, if you're not here in ten minutes, i'm going to fight you." i made sure that i hurried to meet you for the second time.

it was awkward at first. i think we can both admit that. neither of us really knew what to say. everything was so much easier from a distance.

we were sitting on top of this picnic table. at first, you were just reading all of the things engraved into it, but then i guess you noticed the ticking clock beneath my palm and adorning my veins, because you suddenly asked why i only had years remaining at age twenty.

i told you that i didn't know, and then jokingly added that i would probably manage to get hit by a bus or choke on my food, of all things. i don't even know how long we spent talking about all the ridiculous ways i could die.

all i know is that i didn't even see that you had mere months.

im not sure exactly what happened after that. i remember getting stuck in the swings meant for children, and you doing this thing where you were laughing so hard that you were stomping your feet in the mulch and not even making any noise.

i was genuinely stuck, but i still joked about how this is would probably be my cause of death in a few years just to see that sight of you laughing so hard that you weren't even laughing at all.

we had to call the fire department just so i could get cut out of the swing. i think i saw you filming it, but i couldn't tell under the disapproving glares of all the firemen.

but i hope that you did. part of me fears that you won't remember it otherwise.

FORTY MINUTES REMAINING