bulletproofheart3, from reading some of your poems, it seems to me that you just need someone to say this to you. So I'm going to take the liberty and say it myself.
I'm sorry. It's not something easy to do
To try recompense all that I have done to you.
It's shameful. I've lived a blameful life
To put you through all that trouble and strife.
I don't understand what I was thinking about.
My candle isn't brighter when I blow yours out.
My words give more damage than swords. They're bloodied shears.
They've been used to harm you all of these muddied years.
There's no way I could take away the hurt and pain that I've given.
I just want to do right by you so you can go on living.
I hurt you. There's nothing else that I can say
Except I'm sorry. I'm sorry each and every day.
