Marriages Made In Heaven?

The question "Are marriages made in heaven?" is akin to asking "Does God bring the right person for marriage into the life of a Christian?" or "Does God create two people (man and woman) specifically for each other?"

The Bible suggests that God brings the right person into the lives of Christians for the purpose of marriage. The first marriage between Adam and Eve and Isaac's marriage to Rebecca was ordained by God (Genesis 24). Proverbs 19:14 indicates God's activity in bringing the right person into the life of a Christian for marriage, "...a congenial spouse comes straight from God." (MSG). Matthew 19: 6 also suggests that God ordains a Christian marriage from the perspective that HE brings the right person to the Christian for marriage.

Although God may choose the right person for us to marry, is it not possible for imperfect humans to disregard God's choice for our own? Young Christian men and women seeking God's will for their marriage (that God would show the person HE has chosen for them) is a common sight in the God-fearing stratum of Christendom. But how many Christians marry the person God has chosen for them?

Building selfish preconditions into our marriage invariably purges God from our marriage equation. God, who commanded prophet Hosea to marry the adulterous Gomer, cannot be limited to our convenient whims and fancies.

A mere glance into the selfish thoughts and plans driving the Christian marriages in the Indian subcontinent is an adequate proof of our whimsical convenience that eliminates God from the marriage preparations. Christians, in India, seek to marry people from their own caste or clan (e.g. same language groups). Casteism is man-made and is abhorrent in God's sight. So God would not sternly command a man to marry a woman from within his own caste.

There are those Christians, within and outside the Indian subcontinent, who seek to marry the affluent or the well educated. Other Christians seek educational harmony for marriage - a software engineer seeking to marry another software engineer or a doctor seeking to marry another doctor. Few Christians seek to marry only the beautiful / handsome member of the opposite sex. This list could go on and on.

When our cozy and convenient preconditions determine our choice of spouse, God disappears from our marriage equation.

Consider this theme from another vantage point. Do long-lasting and joyous Christian marriages imply a rigorous obedience to God's choice of the marriage partners? If you think so, then I beg to differ. Why?

Reflect on the non-Christian marriages that are happy and long-lasting. Obviously they neither sought nor obeyed the God of the Bible while choosing their spouse. Hence I conclude that the presence of happy and long-lasting non-Christian marriages provides adequate proof that all happy and long-lasting Christian marriages need NOT necessarily be a consequence of a righteous and a rigorous obedience to God.

Then there is the tragic element of "drama or performance" in Christian marriages. There are Christian marriages that falsely portray an image of a godly or a loving union to their audience.

Some Christian couples constantly quarrel for all things big and small. There are those who have not shared a same bedroom for years or decades! A few Christian couples do not love their spouse truly, but robotically live out their marriage for the sake of their children or for the sake of their reputation in the church / workplace / society. Without an iota of doubt, fraudulent Christian marriages exist in Christendom. The question we should ask is, "would God have architected such a fraudulent Christian marriage?" No!

God desires that the husband love his wife and the wife submits to her husband. This is the Christian paradigm for marriage. Hence, God would not have architected a Christian marriage where love and submission are entirely missing.