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۵
I never noticed how much insomnia doesn't suck until I was up at two am, staring at the starry sky with my phone pressed against my ear. The night air blew softly against my hair and I shivered. Your voice softly mumbled into my ear about the constellations and every time I heard you take a breath my heart started to fill up a little bit more. Piece by piece, you were putting me together again.
"What's your favourite constellation?" you asked suddenly.
We'd been silent for a couple of minutes, as we usually do, so your question took me off guard.
I pondered for a couple seconds before replying, "The little spoon."
Your chuckle comes through the line and I close my eyes, savouring the sound. Laughing for you was like me getting positive attention from my foster parent; close to never.
"The little spoon, Jules?" you say my name like it's sugar on your tongue.
I nod even though nobody can see me.
"Yeah," I say strongly as my eyes pop back open. "I mostly like it because you remind me of the big spoon, so we're always connected."
Silence falls again. Your breathing is heavy like you've just ran and my heart is thumping so loud I'm positive anyone within a ten mile radius can hear it. I've said things like this before, but every time I do it you still get surprised and in turn I get nervous.
"Always," is all you mumble and my heart feels so full it might overflow. A smile stretches its way onto my face and I can't help but sigh into the phone from happy content.
You make me feel this way.
You always make me feel this way.
۵
My head is already thumping as I push myself out of bed. I'd stayed up all night talking to you, but I was always tired and I'd grown used to it.
Chad, my foster dad, was sitting at the kitchen table when I came downstairs. He had a piece of toast in his mouth when his eyes met mine and they narrowed almost instantaneously.
"Phone bill's been going up, Ju," he says simply.
My stomach plummets and I walk over to the coffee machine nervously. Each step is almost painful as I can feel his eyes boring into me from behind. I flick on the switch to the machine and quickly make myself a cup of warm goodness, pathetically trying to pretend I didn't hear him utter those words. Maybe if I recite the idea to myself enough times, it'll become true.
"I'm speaking to you, kid."
Gripping my coffee cup, I squeeze my eyes shut. This isn't happening. Not today. Any day but today, please. I have a date with Zack and I know Chad won't let me out if we get into a fight this morning.
The cup fills to the top and I grab it, warmth spreading through my hands then down into my body.
"I'll pick up extra shifts at the store," I say softly.
His chocolate eyes meet mine as he brushes his hair out of his face. I'm mentally begging him to let this go, to let me fix it in my own time. My eyes were wide as saucers as I watch him and await his next move.
He nods one time. It's short and sweet and all the signal I need to get the hell out of there. I practically sprint out of there like my ass is on fire, careful not to spill my coffee everywhere. That'd be another fight I can't afford right now.
"I want to see a check on my desk by Monday for those calls," he shouts.
Monday? It's already Saturday.
My heart completely drops as I reached the top of the stairs, slowing my steps to a heavy trudge. I wouldn't be able to see you this weekend. Hell, I might not be able to see you period if Chad finds out who these calls have been to. He knows we're best friends, but what he doesn't know is we're becoming so much more.
