Dark Thorns | Harry Styles AU

Chapter Twenty-Five

Who else watches 13 Reasons Why (the book is even more wonderful), Riverdale, Flash, or Arrow? Those shows are my obsession as of recently! That and Harry Styles, but what's new? xD

Chapter Twenty-Five

I spent the morning somewhat sick to my stomach, a mix of emotions coursing through every drop of blood in my body and seeming to poison me with an unforgiving and very unavoidable anxiousness. There was an uneasiness residing deep in my abdomen – one I hadn't felt long since having to give public presentations in class was an every week activity. I hated those assignments, sometimes so much so that I'd give an excuse to my teacher about catching the flu or not being able to attend class. But unlike those encounters where there was an obvious reason as to why I was so undeniably terrified, that Monday – the start of a very beautiful new week - I had no reason to be nervous, whatsoever.

My life had been looking up as of recent. I had a stable group of friends who cared for me and included me in their group hangouts. They genuinely cared for my wellbeing and all tension had been erased without much extensive damage being caused. Jasper, although scheming sometimes to the point of being plain manipulative, was back to his normal, chilled self. Zara was happy with her new beau and very past our whole argument. Even Kimber looked more vibrant when I saw her around the school. If all of this wasn't already overwhelmingly amazing, even my relationship with Jigsaw had been blemish-free and blossoming; the relaxed nature of our fancy night out only concreting my theories on his very difficult personality.

So, seeing as though my life had settled into a perfectly woven web – not one silk spun wrongly, it only drove me farther off a cliff being met with the cold reality, which was: I had no clue what was wrong with me and why I felt so off.

Staring down at my hand, I pulled the side of my lip under the hold of my teeth, looking onto the two pieces of paper that had been stuffed through the crack of my door with an astronomical amount of mixed apprehension.

I remembered very clearly the day I had first come to Dark Thorn Academy, after Mrs. Love had not-so-kindly pulled me from my Texas institute and sent me packing to California. Professor Berklee – the university's very kindhearted librarian – had given me a tour of the school, in which Jasper had hauled my personal belongings to my current dorm (under the condition of having been punished for wrongful conduct in a quiet room). That's when I met Zara in the hallway; unfortunately, while having been sprawled out on Jasp due to his flirtatiously crude ways.

Everything had somehow fallen into perfect place, laced together in shapes of hearts and stars. That was until I opened my door for the first time and the little note wedged between the doorframe and wooden surface had floated to the floor, mirroring a butterfly trying to fly with a broken wing. That was the first pitch I had been thrown before Jigsaw entered my life and yet, it was what I was about to face in moments to come.

Approaching Mrs. Jenson's classroom, I noticed that there was a blank piece of paper taped to the glass window; blinds slanted closed. Peeling the tape gently, I flipped the index card around to see a scribbled note from our teacher, obviously addressed to the two students she knew to expect an hour after class had finished.

'Off gathering supplies – have fun!'  it read. She would say so.

Entering the classroom, I set the note down on her immaculate desk and approached my usual place. Slinging the strap of my bag around the shoulder of my chair, I took a seat with my arms outstretched in front of me, thumbs twiddling.

That same part of me that was anxious was also much uninspired. I didn't feel capable of picking up a paintbrush or pen and creating something amazing. There was too much on my mind that needed to be settled before I could concentrate on detaching myself from my body and losing myself in a piece of work. I always thought of art as a way to escape, but then in that moment, it felt like escaping wasn't the answer.