Drops Of Inspiration

The Final Dive- March 2017

I honestly have no words to explain these words.  I just wrote this in the past hour and a bit because the inspiration finally struck again, and I hope it encourages all of you.

This is it.

The moment you have been waiting for.

You've been craving this, seeking the perfect opportunity to leave this forsaken, wretched world. The world where brokenness will never be at an end, and where you will continually be beaten up and cut down every day. The world where no matter how much you try, and how much you even try to try, things will never change. The world will never be a better place until you decide to leave it.

It is time for you to take the final dive. There is nothing here- no reason for you to stay.

So then why is there something still holding you back?

You are perched on the tree branch, clinging tightly to it like a lifeline, while you look down at the raging river below. One dive and the determination to tuck your wings into yourself is all it takes for your inevitable victory of overcoming the darkness within you, never allowing it to exist again.

It's not like you are anyone special. You are just an ordinary canary, with typical goldenrod feathers and beady midnight eyes, just like every other canary out there. At the break of dawn, you let the song of the morning call flow through you at the daily sight of magnificent light breaking through the trees, and you calmly join into the lullaby that brings the life of the forest to rest at night. There are hundreds of other canaries, just like you, who add their voices into the songs and have the same purpose as you do. 

 So what would the loss of one mere canary mean at all?

I suppose that you are the only canary who gives up half of your food supply to the orphaned sparrow with blindness in its left eye. And you are the only canary who sings the harmony while the other canaries sing the melody. And you are the only canary who offers to share a nest for the night with whomever's nest got ruined from wild animals, and then helps rebuild it so that it's even better than before. But none of those things could possibly be important- they are hardly worth any significance compared to who you think you should be.

Remember the times where those unique things about yourself messed everything up? The time when the sparrow tossed your gift of food onto the ground because it felt as if you were taking pity rather than helping? The time when the other canaries were rehearsing a new song for the first day of spring and you woke up the whole forest from your incredibly off-tone harmonization? Or the time when you made the grand mistake of protecting a snake's egg from incoming predators by letting it stay in your nest, and then it just so happened to hatch overnight? It's obvious that no matter what you do, you cause problems. And that's because you are a problem, and there's no worth in your existence unless you do your best to get rid of it.

That's what I'm doing, you tell yourself. I'm disposing of the problem, just as should always be done.

Shaking out your wings one more time, you watch more of your deep yellow feathers fall off and drift gracefully towards the raging river below. As soon as each one touches the water's surface, they are caught in the roaring waves and never seen again as even the most delicate objects are tumbled down into the deepest darkness. Each part of yourself being lost in the madness, one by one, until soon you realize that you will completely lose yourself.

You turn your head to take in the sight of your wings one more time. Beautiful, exquisite, and strong. Even more so than most other birds. But inwardly, the wings of your heart are broken. There's no worth in a broken heart trying to soar.

The next thing you know, you've let go of the branch.

Tucking your wings in, you let your small body dive towards the surface. The wind roars in every part of your being, but not as loudly as the inward insults that define how purposeless your little life is.

Out of nowhere, just a few feet away from the end, you realize with urgency that you don't want to take the final dive. You want to fly, to escape, to go back to the safety of the branch.

But you took the final dive. And from there, there is no turning back.

Suddenly, you chirp in surprise as the strong hold of redemption grasps your body just inches before striking the waves. Squirming, you try to fight the grip that is holding you so strongly, so powerfully...as if you truly matter in this world. But you have never believed that that could ever be true.

You find yourself being placed onto soft, grassy ground. Opening your eyes, the bright light of the sun causes you to squeeze them shut again until a shadow lands in front of you and dims the intensity. Blinking them open again, they grow wide with surprise as the silhouette of a giant eagle looms above you, looking upon you with a gaze that fills you with fierce, uncontainable love.

But quickly, you cower and hop back, putting distance between the two of you. "I can't trust You anymore," you say with scorn. "I am of no importance- one who is not worthy to accept Your love."

With His vast eyes never losing their gaze on yours, He lovingly replies, "You may think you are such, but I tell you that you are an ordinary canary with extraordinary value. I shall always uphold you; will you not cling onto me back? You are precious to me, even among billions of others, and I truly love you."

Frozen in place, you feel the warm, unexplainable pressure of healing start working deep within and mending the brokenness within. Still, you fight back in bitter anger.  "But what about me? My heart is frail, broken, and will always continue to falter. What's going to keep my heart from diving into the abyss?"

Lowering Himself down so that He meets you eye to eye, He speaks straight to your heart. "Your heart will always be frail. It will always flutter, always chase dreams, always harden, and always tend to break. But a truly undeniable love is what mends and overflows from the heart, because hearts are created to be loved. And hearts are never alone."

As sudden as before, light pierces your eyes as you hear the rushing waves below you. Looking down, you shudder as you see the long way down to the dark waters, your trembling legs still clinging to the sturdy branch keeping you aloft.

This is it.

The moment you have been waiting for.

It is time for you to take the final dive. Nothing is holding you back.

The questions now is this: where will you dive? Will you dive into the river, waiting to consume you in darkness? 

 Or will you dive into the arms of the cross, waiting to consume you in His love?