The Story of Lilla Rosa Lahote.

chapter thirteen

It has been two weeks since I ran. Again. I live with Niklaus, who I call Nik. He has helped me alot these two weeks. He has given me answers to what I needed to know. I am a hybrid. I can compel people... Its compulsion but it is easier to say compel. I also have a switch kind of thing... like I can turn my humanity of... So basically i wont feel anything I will be a true vampire who is half with. Simple really. 

Apparently there is a whole lot of vampires like me, well take away the hybrid bit, but yes there is like a small amount of the population like me. And if it wasnt for my witch side I would be burnt up because of the sun.  

Nik has blood family who are vampires. Most go under different last names as to keep up appearances and stuff. There is the eldest brother, Elijah, then Rebekah and Kol and Fin. He said I would be able to meet them soon because he is throwing a get together kind of thing. He throws these kind of balls all the time apparently. Also he is giving me money to go and get a ball gown. Not that I need the money as I have plenty from what mom and dad left me in case anything bad happens. So today on this fine day I am going shopping around London. I am excited to say the least... but it feels like a small part of myself is missing. Like... I dont know. Something is missing thats all I can explain. 

The ball is tomorrow in Niks amazing mansion. Its amazing. I thought the volturis castle was amazing but this is awesome.

"Lilia, are you coming?" Niks voice sounded from behind me. I turned around from the window of my huge bedroom and smiled slightly. A smile that didnt reach my eyes. 

"Yes." I mumbled. Grabbing my bag from my bed, as I walked by, I carried on passed Nik and down the stairs and into the front hall near the front door. 

"Whats wrong sweetheart?" Nik asked as I stood at the door waiting for him. 

I looked and him and smiled sadly. "Its been nearly one month since my parents passed. I just miss them. I also feel like something is missing... yano. I dont even know what is missing" I exclaimed sadly leaning against the front door. 

"I am positive your parents are proud of where you are now. And as for whats missing I can not help you with that. You need to figure that one out by yourself." He said patting my shoulder. I looked down my eyes filling with tears. 

"They will not be proud. I am a monster. I kill to survive. I am the reason they are dead. Its always my fault it always will be, Nik" I whispered and rubbed my eyes to get rid of my tears. "I have lost my self, Nik. I used to think the worst feeling in the world, is losing someone you love... But I was wrong... the worst feeling in the world is when you realize you have lost your self. And i have lost myself." I whispered. I turned around and walked out of the house. I need time alone. I need to time by my self to think. He let me go as he knows what I am going through and what I am feeling. Maybe I should just flip the switch. It would be so much easier to cope. I have lost so much in my eighteen years. I cant cope anymore. 

I looked around and saw I was in the woods. Perfect place to be to think. 

I have not heard anything from Demitri. Maybe he didnt love me enough to keep searching for me. Or maybe the Volturi punished him for turning someone. Who knows... Although I did compel him to not search for me. I did compel the Volturi to forget me. Maybe I am meant to be alone. Maybe I should not be with him. Or be with Nik. Nik is like a brother to me though. Oh I dont know anymore. I let out a scream of frustration and through my bag in front of me. I hate this feeling. I hate feeling like this. I am a monster. I deserve nothing. No one. Just the guilt that is trapped inside of me because I killed my parents. I killed people so I could live. I probably even made my own sould mate hate me. I should just turn it of. It will be so much easier. So much easier to cope with.

I could feel tears rolling down my face. I wont ever feel this dread or this guilt if i just flip the switch. Come on Lilia. It will be better. So much better... 

I closed my eyes and leaned against a tree. I took a deep breath.... 

Demitris pov. 

Right now I am in London. I am searching for this Elijah Johnson vampire. Also my Lilia. I cant find her or him. Its like he knows I am looking so he is hiding. Its like a hard game of hide and seek. 

It has been two weeks since I last saw Lilia. Two weeks I have been away away from the Volturi. In them two weeks I have been to see Lilias family. They she rang them about a week ago and she was on a train. But Lilia didnt tell them where she was going so we have no idea where she is. I have Carlisles phone at the moment in case she rings him. Not like that is likely. 

"Hey have you heard about the Mikealsons ball? It is happening tomorrow at the mansion down Brookdale. Yano near the woods" A excited girls voice squealed out as two teenagers passed me. 

"OMG. We need to go. Come on. We need the perfect dress. I want to catch Niklaus's attention" The other girl said. I carried on listening as they sat on the bench just down from me. What the hell does OMG mean?

"Niklaus has been caught with a lady living with him though. Maybe he has a girlfriend" The other one said. I looked at them. One had blonde hair and one had brown. They were wearing very flashy clothes. Not my cup of tea if I am completely honest. 

"No way. I bet she is his sister or something." the brown girl said. 

"No his sister has blonde hair and her name is Rebekah. This girl has brown hair and her name is like Lily or something stupid." My ears perked at this. Looks like I need a tux. I have a ball to attend. I smirked and made my way out of London park.