Musky Midnight

Chapter I: Billions

It was a sunny Tuesday morning, all was well in the world except for Elon's state of mind. Elon was tenser than an angsty virgin groundhog's nostril holes. He hadn't blasted off his Rocket in over two days. He erected himself out of his flamboyant Nikolai Tessa covered California King sized hydroelectric stasis slumber pod, and stumbled over to his cryo-meditation chamber. He situated himself down on the frigid, hard seat and whipped out his launch pad. He began wrapping his fingers around the pad, stroking up and down on the sides of it, disengaging the locks on the sides, revealing red tender flesh-like material underneath. He knew what he needed to do next, he pulled out some gluten-free, sensually synthetic gloves, he yanked hard onto the glove, ramming up into his hand, tearing at the flesh a little. He then began to spank at the red fleshy like membrane, nothing was happening, he continued to spank it harder and harder, until a little bit of essence emerged from the porthole. He was ready. He got out his activation codes and vigorously rammed them into the warm tender keyboard on the side. The Rocket emerged out from its launchpad, it was a grower not a shower. He then continued to vigorously jam the codes into the side of the control panel. The Rocket began to heat up, and steam was spewing out slowly from the hot, tight exhaust pipes. Elon rammed his fingers into keyboard and went at it swiftly, like the flap of a coke addict hummingbird, slicing through the wind, pecking at the open, fertile flower of the fields, sucking the life out of it. Exhaust fumes and fire began to try and burst out from from the fresh, long and calienté pipes. Elon rammed in his final code, tapping it like the hard stabbing of a ruler spanking into a child's behind. Elon imagined all of the Billions and billions of atoms seeping out of his Rocket, more and more, bursting out like an elephant ejecting a baby from its womb. The Rocket was violently vibrating so much that Elon wondered if this was the end of the age of Elon. This could prove to be devastating he thought to himself in the groove of the moment. "Who would launch billions of rockets into the night sky? Who would take humanity to mars and inseminate the barren wasteland who the fruits of the Elon loins? Who would make environmentalism hip and dank with the young peeps with no emission Tesla future world cars?! WOULD PETER THIEL TAKE OVER PAYPAL AND THIEL IT UP WITH HIS YAOISERVATIVE HANDS?!?!" He couldn't handle it anymore, he had to launch it... "5, 4, 3, 2, 1... GONNA BLAST" Exhaust and flames ejaculated everywhere in sight, the floor below was submerged in fire and gelatin. There were no words to describe what Elon had felt at that moment, he stared off into the corners of his chamber. "Mess" he muttered. And a hot mess it was.