B.I. and Bobby are sent on an unexpected comeback mission by YG. Hanbin is thrilled to be getting some alone time with Bobby but Bobby doesn't seem to be happy. Hanbin begins to suspect the worst....has Bobby fallen out of love with him? Guest appe...
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Afternoon sunshine poured through the window of the car and scattered into a rainbow of light across Hanbin's face. He closed his eyes until the glaring red behind his eyelids disappeared and reopened them to continue watching the scenery flashing by. Mountains loomed ahead peacefully in the horizon and over them the winter sky had started breaking down into flaming pastel pinks and oranges, lighting up the wheat fields lining the highway. Yet the incredible beauty outside only seemed to intensify what was wrong inside the car. Hanbin looked over at Bobby at the wheel. He was as handsome as ever with his full bottom lip pouting slightly and his sharp jawline cutting a dramatic shadow in the afternoon glow. His usually smiley eyes were cold and distant though, and there was something about his whole demeanor that seemed to say to Hanbin "I am far away and I don't know when I will be coming back."
Had there been a different mood Hanbin may have fed Bobby snacks as he drove. Maybe, he would have turned to him and asked a question he hadn't asked before, something that would have made Bobby laugh and cringe but nonetheless he would have answered honestly, as always. Maybe, he would have hummed a new melody and recorded it on his phone while Bobby beatboxed badly. Maybe, they would have spent the trip teasing each other and cracking up, rapping along to their favourite tracks and being idiots.
But there wasn't a different mood in the car – there was just the mood there was and it was flat and tired. In fact, they hadn't spoken much since they got into the car at the YG building, only a few perfunctory exchanges regarding getting the GPS working. Hanbin had tried a few times to initiate conversation with Bobby but he hadn't gotten very far. Bobby's strained smiles and forced chuckles were more uncomfortable than silence and he had given up.
Nothing activated Hanbin's anxious neediness quite like Bobby being out of sorts. It was as if the electric energy they shared was abruptly cut off at the source or like he suddenly didn't have blood pumping through his body anymore. In those moments, he was reminded just how physically, emotionally and creatively dependent he was on Bobby and it was scary to remember how much of his happiness rested in that person feeling the same way. Bobby being in a bad place always seemed to act as a cold reminder that he and Bobby actually weren't one brain, heart and soul, even though it felt like that a lot of time. Rather, Bobby really was like everyone else in the world – independent from him, an individual with a world of his own, and the terrifying power to both share and withhold his thoughts and feelings from Hanbin if he so chose.
As the wheat fields flashed past in a blur of golden light, green grass and white blooms, Hanbin being the compulsive over-thinker he was, was trying to piece things together, trying to work out when it was exactly that he had noticed Bobby had withdrawn from the world they usually shared, and disappeared into his own. Hanbin tried to think back to find some clues...
Bobby had been extremely busy lately dividing his time between his solo activities, MOBB and of course iKON and their comeback. Since the Japan tour had finished it had felt like every second day Hanbin had woken up it was to discover Bobby was gone, off somewhere doing something non-iKON related. Seeing Bobby's empty bed and mussed sheets in the morning was always a surprise and left hanbin feeling a bit empty and flat until Bobby was back by his side. Usually they had made a point of being up to date with each other's schedules so they were always prepared for the other's absence. But the last few weeks it seemed pointless trying to keep each other up to date when their schedules were all so last minute, changeable and chaotic, structured according to a logic that only made sense to YG and their managers. They weren't about to complain about it though – that was the irony of it all – although being busy was exhausting it was ten thousand times preferable to the stagnant, endless trainee days.
