Girl With A Million Fears

Chapter Four

I wake up in my room and I feel my head hoping that all of that pain was just an allusion. I get a tingling feeling when I touch my head and then a little wave of pain. I moan softly, turning onto the other side of my body and moving my hair so it isn't awkwardly stuck under my head. I had a late reaction and realized that someone was in bed with me. My eyes widen with fear and I open my mouth to scream for help. But then I found that it was B and all my nerves and pain went away.

I move closer to B and he stirs a little bit. His giant caring arm wraps around me. I sigh, comforted by his warmth, never wanting to move. Never wanting to leave him, and I never wanting him to ever leave me. I don't like the fact that I don't want to leave him. After whats happened over the past week or so, I remember how much it hurts to be close to someone. And how much it hurts to lose them... Like my - my thought was interrupted when B kisses my head.

I can't believe that I've attached myself to the closest person... Literally, the closest person to me when it happened. But he cares so much about me... And-and, I care about him... If I had anyone in the world to attach too... I wouldn't change who it is now. I honestly and truly love Benedict Timothy Carlton Cumberbatch. I. Love. My. Dad. He can never replace my real one, but it feels like he has always been mine. And I never want to be anyone elses. B starts to mumble words into the pillow and I hold in my laugh. I play with his hair until he turns his head to me. "What are you doing love?" He asks me, slowly opening his eyes so I can see the crystal blue circles and pitch black pupil. "Nothinnng." I reply casually. "Mmm. Okay love." He says smiling. B moves over and covers me. His deep voice soothes me. ' "Where were you?" ' My thoughts slipped out as a quiet murmur.

B covers my entire body with just his leg and arm.

"The doctors at the set and the director held me back," B pauses for a second. "The doctors told me that you, for one, be more careful. But I told them it was my fault - they hit my arm...." B pauses looking at his arm that is badley bruised. They must be strong... Doctors are a 'no no' in my book. "But then they said that you need lots of sleep. Then they hit me again and yell at me for you not getting enough sleep. They also said that you can't go running around," I snorted at the thought of running, "You can get up fast, just move slowly. Stay hydrated, and," B takes a deep breath ready to continue.

Just like a dad.... hah. Always worrying ....

"Isn't that what they do?" B replies to my thoughts that keep slipping out of me.

"Ummm... I think so... I-I don't know." I stutter softly.

"Well, I think it is..." He murmurs his thoughts out loud unknowingly.

My eyebrows raise just a little in confusion and concern.

B props himself up swiftly onto his elbows. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?" I raise one eyebrow confused. "Yo-you.... You're crying." Stuttering a little bit. I touch my cheek as another tear forms and slides down. I look at my fingers that glisten from my tear. "I don't know. I, haha, I don't know." I smile as I rub off my other tears.

Giving a light laugh and smile B kisses my head lightly. Minutes of silence go by and I try to think of something to say. "Caroline." B breaks the silence and begins to fiddle with my hair. He rarely uses my name.

"... Yes?"

B asks me if I wanted someone to come over.

I tell him that I sort of did.

And like stepping on a dry old twig I snap. I didn't ask him, or tell him.

It's like I forgot all of the instructions that I've just been told. I throw the sheets off of me and scrabble out of my room grabbing my backpack which has my laptop, a book of my contacts, and my running shoes. I yanked my phone and my charger out of the wall and grab my iPod shoved it in before I ran out of my room. I open the cabinets and stuff my bag with food. Taking four water bottles to keep hydrated like B said... Once I was at the door B yelled my name and opened my door. "I'm sorry... I just... I'm sorry! I-I need to breathe. I'm sorry... So so so sorry... I love you dad." I took the keys to the flat looking at B. Tears stream down my face as I close the flats door. B yells after me. I can hear the thumping of his feet fading away as I sprint down the hallway and down the stairs.