I need the reassurance to keep going,
because I've sat here, positive of knowing,
of the unreturned feelings that reside,
longing, begging to be gone, set aside.
Talking is but a metaphor in my head,
a replay of sorts of what could be said.
The words you possess the power to present,
would never be spoken to me and that,
that is most what I resent.
I wish, just once, you'd look at me,
with a passion glinting in your eye,
glinting in the golden, smooth brown that clashes with the baby blue sky.
To love, or not to love,
is the question I must ask,
but, for now, I shall wear this mask,
with a pride unmistakably mine,
and I'll build my army,
a wall of shields around my heart.
so that you may never harm me,
I will build these walls, with an undeniable art.
The essence of an art,
where I set you free,
and though every instinct kills to be felt,
I may then finally see,
this is but the best for me.
To leave or not to leave,
is the question I shouldn't ask, but am.
For every second I'm with you, adds a happier palpitation.
But, you're deadly,
and therefore the thought of an 'us', I must not partake in.
But bring myself to leave you,
I'm afraid I just can't,
for I think I want to love you,
Despite leaving my heart at a constant slant.
To love or not to love,
I wonder if he loves me.
To leave or not to leave,
not to leave, I'll pay the fee,
the fee of my heart,
my all on the line,
my army has crumbled and left me behind,
and my walls, they have fallen, completely abid,
To the ways of the boy,
Who is always amid.
11:01
3/21/17
