A Phone call - Oneshot - Sherlock x Watson

A Phone call

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As the clouds began to grow darker Sherlock stood near the metal railing, over looking the coast. Just about to turn around he heard his phone ring. He slowly retrieved his phone from his pocket and sighed with relief that it was just Watson calling.

"Hello Watson," greeted Sherlock, glancing around him.

"Hi Sherlock," Watson replied.

"I take it you found something important to the current case we are solving?" Sherlock said impatiently over the phone, feet tapping in the ground.

"Well I wanted to tell you something that is quite urgent but it doesn't have anything to do with the case," Watson shyly told Sherlock. 

"Well why are you wasting my time then! The murderer probably knows by now that we're onto him and your sitting there staring at a wall doing nothing instead of trying to find any links to the note we found yesterday!" Sherlock shouted angrily into the microphone.

"FINE WELL I JUST WANT TO SAY.." 

Sherlock pursed his succulent, pillowy lips as Watson told him that he was pregnant.

"And erm.... it's.. well.. It's yours.." Watson finished timidly.

Sherlock just stood there frozen, eyes widened at the news. Suddenly he heard a far off gunshot from one of the buildings in the distance. He whipped his head around to see a figure dropping from one of the buildings and guessed from the receipt in his pocket, that suddenly materialized there, the person was just killed and that they were specifically into plumbers. As he turned back round he saw a red dot on his stomach and cautiously looked around, slowly putting his hands in the air, dropping the phone to the ground. 

"Why don't you love me my speckled nose black goose?" Moriarty drunkenly slurred as he put his arm around his shoulder. 

"Moriarty! What are yo-" Sherlock exclaimed shocked, even wider eyed than before.

"Good your not questioning the sniper anymore," Moriarty interrupted, patting Sherlock's head while his hair glistened in the sun light with a couple of strands dancing in the wind as the light blinded his angel baby face. Sherlock looked at Moriarty's hand and uncomfortably looked back down to the red sniper dot. Every single time he was ever with Moriarty somehow a sniper always had been on him, even if he was outside on a flatland when he was having a picnic with Moriarty once somehow a sniper was aimed at him but was still hidden in plain sight. Sherlock had also asked Moriarty to stop it but he did not and he kept having it aimed at Sherlock, even when he was having sex with Moriarty.Even the kinky shit.

"But anyways to the point why I'm here," Moriarty continued,"YOU WERE CHEATING ON ME?! YOU GOT WATSON PREGNANT! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!" Moriarty shouted angrily at Sherlock, a shaky hand pointed at Sherlock accusingly as dramatic soap opera music began to play. 

"But you don't understand Moriarty, I never loved you!" Sherlock looked pleadingly into Moriarty's eyes.

"THEN WHAT DID YOU SAY THEN A COUPLE OF NIGHTS AGO!" Moriarty shouted in Sherlock's face.

Sherlock thought back to a few nights ago after he had watched the Robert Downy Jr Sherlock movie and was depressed at how shit Iron man was as Sherlock so he headed to the bar to drown his sorrows in liquid geese. That's when he saw Moriarty and he had offered him a pint of Guinness and he couldn't remember much after that. 

"YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME! BASTAR-" before Moriarty could stop screaming the red sniper dot wobbled off of Sherlocks chest and a bullet buried it's self in Moriarty's chest. Watson pushed Moriarty's body over, blowing the steam off his peacock shaped gun. 

"i luv u bby" Watson went over to hug Sherlock as he put the gun back in his pocket. Suddenly Sherlock picked Watson up bridal style and kissed his stomach.

"Your my speckled nose black goose, Sherlock," Watson said to me but before I would let Watson kiss me I set him down gently and walked over to the dying Moriarty. 

"I want to know one thing before you die, how do you always have a sniper on me?" Sherlock coldly asked, showing no emotion in his eyes.

"Heheh..."Moriarty laughed but then started to cough up geese feathers,"Look up." With that Moriarty closed his eyes and became still but then suddenly reincarnated into high lord geese master. Fustrated at how Moriarty had been so vague with his answer but decided to 'Look up' as Moriarty said.

Expecting to just see clouds and sky Sherlock was met with what looked like a massive screen with a face staring back. Sherlock reached out from the screen and grabbed the reader by the collar. 

"Who on earth are you?" Sherlock asked you. 

Breaking the forth wall further, Sherlock twisted his body around and looked at the screen from the outside and saw the logo of Wattpad and was immediately disgusted.

"Well that explains the whole night with Moriarty..." Sherlock stated with a frown, his voice seeped with disgust as a shiver went through him. Before you could scroll downwards to continue the fan fiction Sherlock said something.

"Why?" he said with a face of not disgust but of disappointment before he dropped back to his knees and picked up Watson again and began to walk away. 

You stare at the wall, sitting on your chair/bed/goose you contemplated why. Why was I reading this god awful fan fiction of which plot consists of Watson from Sherlock getting pregnant. Why had you  looked up 'Sherlock x Watson' or something similar along those lines. Why were you on Wattpad at 2:something in the morning reading this? And finally why the actual fuck did Moriarty reincarnate into a high lord geese master instead of a high geese god. My answer to that question my friend is that you are simply stuck in the rabbit hole of shit fan fiction and your never getting out! 

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AN : This is what happens when you go with you friends in English and are asked to write a couple of sentences about a picture featuring the beautiful face of Benedict Cumberbatch. (The image up there is the image we were asked to write about.)

If you liked this lovely peice of shit read some more of are works!

Featuring the classic: My immortal

And the sequel: Goth Town