Your Eyes Are Mine

Chapter 3;

Estella's POV;

How is this day not over? I ask myself looking down at my paper. I'm just so anxious and nervous. Ever since I saw that guy I've been shaking. My whole body is just shivering but I'm not sure with what. Excitement? Anger? I'm sure happiness but I can't tell. That second dream I had whilst in connection 101 is making my head go a mile a minute. How could I feel so much lose within the span of two seconds?

"Earth to Estella?!" I hear Leila call out from my dream world "so anyways I think we should get this social project done as soon as possible. I hate the Cold War ugh." Leila explains as she places her notes back into her plastic binder and shoved her textbook into her bag. She looked back up at me with a concerned look. She is examining me like always.

"I'm fine. Stop doing that." I look down at my pencil I've been tossing in between my fingers for the past hour.

"I just want to make sure you're not gonna have a break down or something. You look so stressed... since lunch you've looked this stressed." Leila pointed out while grabbing my hand. She's not wrong. I just wanna get over it now in all honesty. To top off all this madness and denial he's in my class... which is everyday.

I feel kind of awkward. I know him, or at least that's what it feels like, too well. I haven't had a conversation with him but I know his personality and his family and his favourite superhero (it's Batman, by the way) and I even know he would kill for Mac and cheese always. I feel like we've been intimate before too. In a dark room with just the two of us. Slowly getting more heated on the bed. Getting closer. Hands travelling places. Lips travelling places...

I slap myself on the cheeks. Stop it! I don't even know him that's so dirty! Imagining his rock hard body under my sheets while whispering in his ear is not what I should be thinking about. I haven't talked to him but I am already thinking of him without clothes on. I'm such a perv.

"I'm sorry. I've been spacing all day. You know that comment I made in Connections 101?" I look up at Leila and she furrows her eyebrows. "It's because I think I met the guy I'm supposed to be with." I stammered whilst playing with my hands. It's so strange to admit it out loud. At this point it just doesn't feel real. I've wanted this for so long and now that it's actually happening, I'm denying it.

Leila looks at me in shock. I can tell there is something on the tip of her tongue. She can't get anything out before the bell rings and the stampede begins to file out. Leila and I grab our books and head to our lockers to go home.

I brush my hand against every bright blue locker on my way down to N06. The best locker in the whole school, in my opinion. It has the least amount of scratches and hearts with initials engraved on it along with the least amount of chipped paint. It's not too close to the bathrooms so I can smell any raunchy mess, I don't have anyone to the right of me so I can whip it open with no worries and there are no classrooms beside me that I would get trampled with kids. I would be jealous of me if I didn't have this locker.

Adelina is already there waiting for Leila and I with her head pressed up against my locker. The three of us claimed lockers all beside each other so we didn't have to go through the maze this school calls "the hallways".

We've all had rough days and I can tell because none of us say anything while at our lockers. We all stare into them while rearranging our textbooks and grabbing our pack backs. We all shut our lockers unison before turning our attention to my keys. I look up and we all smile and grab each other before walking towards the stairs to leave.

                                     ••

I'm starring at blank paper trying to get some words together for this social project. I never know how to words things properly. They never come out the way I want them to so I keep rewriting things and checking new dictionaries and thesauruses, hoping to find a new word to use. I run out of words so easily. It's so pathetic, really.