The Third Journal

Pages 219+220

DIPPER'S JOURNAL

I can't believe I'm writing this, but today I actually had FUN. My grandnephew Stanford literally fell out of the sky and reminded me that, even in dire circumstances, one must take joy in the simple pleasures of life.

In this case, that simple pleasure is my favorite board game of all time- Dungeons, Dungeons, & More Dungeons by BallWay Games (copyright 1974). Mabel was never interested in this game, and the kids in school called it "Boyfriend Repellent." But apparently, Ford shares my love of a good game.

He's setting up the game as I write this. Wait till he sees my...

Infinity-Sided Die

Infinite sides means infinite outcomes. But you'd be surprised how often you roll a 4.

Available in infinite colors. But only 2 sizes.

This thing has saved my life 3 times and endangered it around 20.

Exists in a sate of quantum uncertainty. Don't stare at it for too long unless you want a headache!

One time I rolled it and the sky permanently changed color. Luckily, that was in the Land of the Blind Dimension, and no one noticed (although their one-eyed kind did seem annoyed).

Obviously it's too dangerous to use in a simple game of D & D & More D, but what could be the harm in just showing it to Ford?

-----

Well, the harm in showing it to Stanford turned out to be quite large. During one of our games, my hotheaded sister got her hands on it and accidentally conjured this jerk.

Probabilitor the Wizard

Full Name: Probabilitor Pythagorus Decimaldore the 3.1415th

Claims that his staff is powered by "pure math," but I'm guessing it's just a lot of D batteries.

Mainly makes annoying math jokes. He said "Algebra Kadabra" at one point, and everyone but Bella booed loudly.

Believes that eating brains makes you smarter, which is a really dumb idea for someone who never shuts up about having a master's degree.

His henchman is much too god-looking to be pure elf. They are typically much shorter and way uglier. His ugly elf dad must have married up.

Out of all the wizards I've ever encountered, (and that includes Blandalf the Boring from the Unremarkable Dimension), this one was the most insufferable!

WEAKNESS:

B̶L̶A̶S̶T̶E̶R̶ ̶G̶U̶N̶

BEING OUTPLAYED!

.....

FORD'S JOURNAL

Wow! Today was another amazing day! I got to play my favorite board game ever, Dungeons, Dungeons, & More Dungeons, with the Author! Apparently, he's just as big of a fan as I am. And I owe it all to Bella and Fidds being too busy to play and Gompers rolling my die underneath the porch.

Stan always mocked my love of this game, and the kids at school used to call it "Girlfriend Repellent," so I never got to play much before. Until I came to Gravity Falls, that is! When setting up the game, Dipper made a character for me to rescue. He named it "Princess Unattainabelle"... a girl. I came out to him, today, saying "I actually prefer princes." He's super cool with it, and renamed the character "Prince Unattainabeau"!

Today Great Uncle Dipper showed me...

The Infinity-Sided Die

It's shape is always changing for infinite sides, along with infinite outcomes. Great Uncle Dipper said anything could happen if you rolled it.

I got a headache when I stared at it.

Dipper said it was outlawed in 9000 dimensions! I wonder how many he's been to.

Of course, it seemed too dangerous to use in a simple board game, but it was really cool to see! Well, I'm gonna draw up a dungeon for tomorrow's game. It's gonna totally stump Great Uncle Dipper!

-----

Well, today was certainly an adventure. Graunty Mabel accidentally rolled the Infinity-Sided Die and ended up conjuring this jerk.

Probabilitor the Wizard

(And not the kind from Bella's favorite book series!)

He says that his staff is powered by pure math. I think it's just a bunch of batteries.

He makes really annoying math jokes. The ones that only math teachers and Bella laugh at. (Then again, Bella laughs at almost any joke.)

He thinks that eating brains makes you smarter. He's kinda dumb for someone who never shuts up about having a Master's degree.

His henchman is defiantly not 100% elf. In the game, real elves are shorter and uglier.

Bella said that this guy is almost as awful as Moldevort. I agree!

WEAKNESS: Being outplayed!