I couldn’t breathe. Gasping to fill my lungs with air and only sinking closer and closer to death. Usually at this point your brain goes into fight or flight mode and your primitive instincts can get you out of dyer situations. However, all of that is compromised when you are ready for death. When you’ve been dead for 17 years some rest sounds nice. Also a 190 lb. man clenching his hands around your neck doesn’t help. But he won’t kill me. He loves these games. He says it will make me stronger, ready for what is next. I swear he needs to lay off the coke. Usually when situations like this happens the news is on full blast looking for the missing child from two years ago, the kidnappie thinks of their mom, or dad, or sister, or pet cat or whatever but when you have no one to hold onto you don’t really mind it I guess. Hes right I did have it coming. When I say that i am serious, i am not some sad, broken girl that has been brainwashed and just needs love. Prostitutes always have it coming and yet we keep on prostituting. Maybe we like the thrill, maybe we are dirty whores, or maybe some of us need money for college, the reason is irrelevant its all the same. I started at fourteen. It hardly lasted a year before nick found me. Or should I say saved me. When you re fifteen and dumb you think you can protect yourself on the streets, if someone got too rough you could handle it. Turns out no matter how prepared you are when you're 100 pounds and naked it doesn’t take much to be knocked unconscious. No shit right? I don’t really know what happened and I don’t really care. Nick found me laying in the ally, cliché prostitute right? Anyway I was bleeding all over myself, bruised face the whole ball game, he took me to what is now our home or hell whichever you are more comfortable with, and fed me, let me bathe didn’t ask questions but didn’t care either I guess. I was his opportunity. That sounds so fucking lame right? Whatever, so what he is “training” me for is to kill. Now before you little judgmental punks start to jump to conclusions he wants me to kill those who deserve to die. Now i get the whole ‘ who gets to chose who is worthy of life’ trust me my mind has been in a war about it and I've come to terms with the fact that our court system is so flawed. Did you know if a police man on the crime scene finds one piece of evidence that will lead to a suspect they discard all other evidence they deem irrelevant. And then the court system has to abide all these bull shit rules and don’t care who's innocent or guilty they just care about winning and making money for their firm. Fuck, where was I going with this, oh yeah so a lot of ass holes get off with a warning like molesters and wife killers and fuckers who knock out girls in allies and they do deserve to be punished and this is how we are going to punish them. Everyone knows life isn’t fair so why play by the rules? Why not have a little fun do some good and fuck shit up.oh yeah p.s. my name is Jess. Ill be back I need a stoge.
