My hands were cold, they felt empty. it was 1 am and I hadn't slept in days i was tired but didn't see the point In sleeping, i would just wake up in a couple minutes in sweats and tears because what was behind my eyes would show me things that I wish I had never seen.
I knew my mental state wasn't healthy but I had learned to live with it until three days ago when they had gotten worse. It got louder more violent.
But I couldn't help closing my eyes I was so fucking tired you could see it on my face I needed a break so I slept. I woke up crying hysterically like I had suspected, I heard Josh walking towards my room I quickly tried to wipe away my tears and calm myself down. he knocked on my door "Tyler are you alright" he says with a concerned voice, "I'm ok. I promise" i sigh "remember that I'm always here if you need me ok Ty".
I loved talking to him he made me forget. forget about how hungry i was or how painful my cuts felt, of course josh doesn't know about any of that. I'm too ashamed and disgusted with myself to even tell my best friend.
But I'm sure he wouldn't care, he would be mortified and call me a freak like everyone else did.
I mean it isn't that hard to find out my secrets I have physical undeniable evidence on every Inch of my body, my ribs easily seen through my skin the cuts scattered up and down my arms and legs and all the other countless things I have done to my once clean, un-touched body.
Now my body's a waste bin where anything that goes into my body gets burned through exercise and regret because one bagel will make me a fat pig and all my hurtful thoughts turn to trash discarded by my mind and put onto my body leaving scars and blood stained sleeves.
the morning arrived and i was greeted by josh dun in his boxers, he was slouching across the couch with a coffee cupped in both of his hands. Josh sat up quickly as soon as he realized I was awake. I quickly averted my eyes from his crotch "Tyler I know you were staring" , i felt my cheeks burn and saw a smirk grow across josh's face
Hope you enjoyed this chapter I'm not very good at writing fan-fics, or story's at all for that matter but I tried
