Evie's Job

26: Evie

Evie looked at the city’s lights and sipped her wine. She felt old and wise and terribly sophisticated, mostly because the wine wasn’t sharp and she was sixteen floors above the street.

She was thinking. A lot had just changed, and she needed a moment to work it all out.

“Um,” she said suddenly. “Could I say one last thing, before we stop talking about money?”

“Of course.”

“You don’t mind?”

Natalie shook her head.

“Wait,” Evie said. “I have to say two things. First is that apparently the idea of being paid kind of turns me on, but not so much I’m actually going to do it. Does that make any sense?”

“It does, actually.”

“Good. Because what I was actually going to say was that all that isn’t actually anything to do with why I’m here with you. Not really.”

Natalie looked over at her.

“I like you,” Evie said. “The money was part of it, part of why this was fun. But money wasn’t all of why I’m here. Does that make sense too?”

“Almost,” Natalie said. “As best as it can, yes.”

“Good. I just wanted you to know.”

They were both quiet for a moment. Evie watched a plane high over the city, out towards the airport.

“It’s just that I feel like I took advantage,” Evie said. “Like I tricked you or something.”

“You didn’t.”

“I kind of did. By talking about all this so much, and then not doing it. I’m sorry, that’s all.”

“I was taking advantage too.”

“By paying me?”

Natalie shrugged.

“You weren’t really. Taking advantage.”

“It feels like it to me.”

“You didn’t mean to, though?” Evie said. “Did you?”

Natalie sat there for a while. “Not on purpose, no.”

“So don’t worry about it, then.”

Natalie nodded, and there was another silence. Natalie seemed to be thinking.

“When I gave you that cheque,” Natalie said. “I liked you less. Just while we’re telling each other things.”

“Because the price went up.”

Natalie looked over. “Not because the price went up. Because you were changing the arrangement, and that made it feel like maybe this was only about money to you.”

“Oh,” Evie said. “Why shouldn’t it only have been about money? At the start?”

“Was it?”

“Maybe,” Evie said.

“It wasn’t?”

Evie shrugged.

“I hoped it wasn’t,” Natalie said. “I wanted to think that.”

“It wasn’t,” Evie said.

Natalie smiled.

“It wasn’t, except we both know now that I’ll fuck for money,” Evie said. “So what does that make me?”

Natalie thought. “That bothers you? That you were going to?”

“I’m not sure.”

“You didn’t in the end, though,” Natalie said. “For what that’s worth. You never actually did.”