The Definite Destruction Of The Mind

The list of things that people can destroy themselves with is endless. We create a certain path between a sane mind and an addiction. We believe some things won’t hurt us as an belief, we are immune towards all the bad things. That we are going to be sane. Although, our brain can also function by itself. It won’t do anything, only tell us what to decide. If we are going to give in and create our destruction, or if we are going to fight, and survive with our slightly crooked mind. 

Nevertheless, the border of the actual destruction and the idea is the tool. We choose the tool depending on the situation. Different tools do different damage. Our needs are different and the tools are a kind of utility goods. Sometimes, our mind is creating the illusion, that it just isn’t enough and we need more. Suddenly, the tools aren’t enough and we feel the need to sink into the mindless circle of destruction.

The addiction is a whole new chapter. We could argue if the addiction is the answer of the self-destruction pit, or if it’s a way brain shows us that our needs are never ending and we still have time before it kills us. We can also have different opinions on the mental and physical death and the cause of it. Does the brain actually cause the mental death, or we cause it? Physical death is made by the physical tool. That’s without a question. We cannot say how much damage will be lethal.

That’s why I think, that addiction if one of the most dangerous things. Because it can actually send us to the part of life when brain tricks us, that we are perfectly fine while we are slowly dying. And we cannot sense, if the fear of death is valid.

And the most fearful thing about being addicted is that we cannot say that we came stronger from the mental war. We will always kind of feel the need to do something we have once come over with. The past is haunting us, luring us into thinking that it won’t be so bad this time and going back into things that has almost caused us the mental death won’t hurt us anymore.

But oh no, what a wrong judgement. 

The very ugly truth that no one dares to say is that we come weak from the war. Our mind is weak, our body is weak from fighting against our own sick brain and we need to get well again. But what’s even worse is that we have caused it ourselves. We cannot point our fingers towards a person, who haunted us in our worst nightmares, we cannot make a flashback of a certain moment when our mental illness won and say it was the illness’ fault that we ended up like that. No. Because it was us who raised our tools and convinced ourselves, that our brain is right and we should do it for our own good. Oh boy, no one knew how evil our brain can be. 
But in the end, it’s our destruction and our endless pit.

Now you may say, ‘Sandy, why aren’t you saying something positive? Is it only black during and after the destruction process?’ 

Of course not, my friends! Actually, the ones who stay with us, even when we are going through our hardest and it seems like our eyes won’t see another sunlight, are the ones, who love us the most. The people, that won’t see our mind and our bodies like an aftermath of the addiction, but as beautiful creations. Those are the people that just won’t leave our mind day and night and we care about the most. And it’s only fair to say, we are not alone in this self-destruction path. We are never alone <3

Sandy