Kairos: A Great KaiSoo Love Story

~ThirtyFive~

KAI'S POV

IT HURTS...REALLY HURTS!

"I'm sorry. I love Suho and we're planning to get married. Please forget about me. Forget about what happened. It was a mistake. Please pretend that I dont exist and Ill do the same. Good bye..."

It was a mistake? Pretend that he don't exist? He'll do the same? He'll pretend that I don't exist? He'll forget about me...about us?

Those words. I felt numb- Numb in pain. I felt like I'm bleeding inside.

Last night, I was really hurt by the fact that he's always saying that name- Suho or hyung or whatever! I want to punch the wall but I can't...

Is this what he felt before? During the time when I r-raped him? When I shouted Anya's name instead of him? Is this what he felt??

No. He felt much pain- More pain than I'm feeling right now. I really deserve this. Karma at it's best.

It's all my fault! This is my fault!

I guess...I guess he will never change his mind. I'll try my best to be happy for him and Suho.

Marriage? Yeah sounds good but it hurts alot!

H-he's happy right now right? He said it himself. But I love him...

I love him so much that I'm willing to give him his happiness. After all, he really deserves to be happy. I've caused so much pain in him, I don't want him to hate me until he dies, so I'll let him go...even if that's the most painful thing to do.

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DYO'S POV

"OH MY GOD!!! LOOK AT THIS DYO! ISN'T BEAUTIFUL??" Baek's tone is the most jolly of them all! I swear.

"Oh y-yeah it is. It's beautiful. Congrats to the both of you." I replied with a flat tone. What's happening to me?

Baek have told me that the reason why Chanyeol has been avoiding him is that, he might get carried away and might say something about his proposal.

I laughed. Yeol never change.He's not a good liar...

"Aww I said I'm sorry...I wanted it to be special. That's why I'm busy planning and making it the most romantic proposal ever! If I slipped and tell it to you, where's the essence of surprise there right?" Chanyeol defended himself. These two never really change! 

Suddenly I remebered Hyung. Guilt is what's eating me right now. I don't know what I'll do if he finds out what happened...I'm afraid of losing him. I suddenly feel like crying...

"Hey...what's wrong? Did something happened to you and Suho hyung?" Baek's voice is full of concern.

I shook my head and smile. I can't cry right now- Not infront of them.  "We're okay. I'm just tired from work." I lied. How many more times do I need to lie infront of the people I cared for?

"Oh! Is that so? Well, you should take a rest now. We'll just chat some other time okay?"

"Ok. Bye." I smiled at them. I crawled under my sheets. I'm really tired. My body and mind feels tired from what's happening right now. I feel so empty. It's like a big part of me has gone.

I let myself cry for tonight. I'm mad at myself. I'm so careless! How can I let myself be loose like that? I have a boyfriend for fuck's sake!

I'm confused right now. I love Suho but...but Jongin...Jongin showed up and...FUCK! I'M SO FUCKED UP!

Suho. I don't know how to face him tomorrow. I can't. I love him but I don't know if he would still love me...