Torn (Ethan Dolan)

~Chapter 2~

***
I sit on my bed trying to scavenge for thoughts on my new book. It's gonna be a seller,  I really hope so because I'm tired of living off of ramen.

I scribble my thoughts down onto a piece of paper and read it over about five times. By the fifth time I finally realize how shit it is and crumple it up into a small ball.

"Ugghhh!  Stupid shit! I'm so tired of eating ramen!" I shout throwing the millionth failed plan for my new book. Though this time it hits someones face when they walk through the door.

"Woah!  Take it easy there tiger!" the familiar voice says,  laughing. I grin up at him as he wanders over to the side of the bed I'm sitting on. He sits down on the bed,  pulling my waist closer to him.

He begins planting sweet kisses on my neck making me squirm in his tight embrace. 

"You can moan baby girl,  I'm not gonna bite." he smirks at me. "Maybe..."

"I really need to get this finished though,  do you see my cabinets... I need food..." I groan. 

He smiles at me,  planting another kiss on my neck,  "Tell you what,  if you give me what I want...  We can order chinese takeout after..."

I smirk at him,  "I have been really craving some orange chicken..."

With that he throws my notebook off the bed and it goes somewhere in the room. He plants his lips on mine forcefully,  soon letting his tongue join the party.

He moves his lips to my collarbone, finding my sweet spot. I moan his name.

"Grayson..." he looks up into my eyes with a devious smirk playing on his lips.

***

I lay in Grayson's embrace,  bodies dripping with sweat. My fingers draw patterns on his chest. My phone blinks,  notifying me that I have a message.

E-tee-wee-tee: hey

Me: hey my only friend :)

E-tee-wee-tee: shut up,  u hav other friends

Me:  no... really I don't :D anyways why u texting me...

E-tee-wee-tee: wht? can't a guy just text his friend...

Me: Eth wht do ya want? 

E-tee-wee-tee: fine... I was wondering if u wanted to go to dinner on Saturday night?

I looked over at Gray as he played with my fingers,  "Gray."

Grayson looked at me with his hazel eyes, "Yes Julie,  ready for another round?" Grayson gave me a wink.

"Your brother just asked me out..."

Grayson looked at me, " Yeah and...."

I looked at him slightly shocked,  "I need your approval..."

"Do you like him?" Gray asked.

"I mean,  I guess..." I responded.

"Then go out with him..." Gray responds nonchalantly.

"I'm sleeping with his brother...." I groan.

"Yeah and that's all we're doing." Grayson assures me. I nod my head,  honestly slightly hurt by his words but wipe off my pain instantly.

Grayson got up from the bed,  searching the room for his boxers. I watched as he pulled them on and then pulled the rest of his clothes on. He picked up his phone and called the Chinese food place.

"Hi,  yeah can I get one dinner order of the orange chicken with egg drop soup..." he looked at me. "And a large Dr. Pepper..." I waited for him to tell them his order but he didn't.

"That'll be it..." he states and gives out my information for my address hanging up.

"What about you?" I asked.

"I'm not hungry." he finished,  throwing two twenties at me and leaving without another word. I try to compose myself throwing on a shirt and underwear but I can't anymore. I collapse to the ground letting the tears flow out.

This is what I do,  I give myself away to try and feel something. But in the end I always end up being hurt,  leaving myself with nothing. I continue to do it,  heartbreak after heartbreak. I know what Grayson and I are doing is wrong and I also know what I agreed to,  but I still do it. I told myself I wouldn't feel anything towards him,  but I did. I'm not in love,  but I definitely have feelings for him and they keep growing. In some deranged part of my brain I hoped the feelings were mutual. But as always they are not and I am left with nothing. I am left there torn.

My phone rang,  signaling I had a call.

"Hello...." I sniffed,  trying to compose myself.

"Jules...  You ok?" Ethan's voice came over the phone.

"Uhm... Yeah,  yeah I'm fine..." I responded.

"It sounded like your crying..." Ethan said worried.

"No,  no I'm fine. Just my God damn allergies,  you know?" I groaned wiping the tears off my cheeks.

"Okay I was just calling to say I'm sorry...  It's too soon,  I know...  I just thought you shared the same feel-" I cut off Ethan.

"Ethan!" he stopped talking. "I would love to go to dinner with you..." I could almost see his smile over the phone.

"Ok. I'll pick you up at 7 on Saturday!" he stated.

"Ok. I'll see you then." I smiled.

"Ok,  bye Jules..." he hangs up the phone.

Guilt boils through me. You're such a whore.... You're sleeping with his brother.... You can't do this to him...

I pick up my phone and dial his number.

***