20 Seconds Of Pure Embarrassing Courage

~Rain and Thunder~

 Songs for this chapter are Thunder by  Boys Like Girls and Fearless by Taylor Swift. Legit, I smiled so hard when I was writing this, it just seriously made my day so much better now that I finally got this unloaded after it had been what? Almost a month?! Yea I know I feel like a major slacker because I haven't been writing but that is only because I have been focusing on my grades and I have finally acomplished my goal of A B honor for the first time in SIX YEARS so this was a pretty big deal for me :D

Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet. 

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I listened as the warm breeze went past my ears as I sprinted down the wide open street. I focused on my breathing, chanting the pattern I had been taught back during track season all those years ago. In. Out. In. Out. For the first time in what felt like months I finally was able to clear my head, forgetting about everything else in the world and focusing on my breathing. I'm not sure where I was or how long I had been running but all I know is that each step I felt my muscles loosening up and my breathing becoming regular again. No matter how often my legs began to feel tired I told myself to run faster, to push harder, to go the extra mile.

Since the party I hadn't been feeling myself, everything seemed pointless and I lacked the effort to communicate with anyone. Me kissing Raenah kept repeating in my head and I can't but wonder; could I have done something different? I didn't mean for it to go that far but I did. She seemed fine after that, like she wasn't sitting in a tree talking to a college guy who was very much attracted to her.  Then those people started walking down the hill and I could see the panic surge in her eyes as she stared. I could hear the fear in her voice as she whispered for me to go away. The way she hissed it at me, commanding me to leave and never come back.

What else was I supposed to do? Stay? She would have never forgiven me, not to mention that those people would see us and automatically except the worst considering her past. But leaving hurt even more; the entire climb down the tree and the short jog into the woods that out lined the plain, my heart was aching and I wished there was something else I could do besides turn around and walk away.

That's how I lost her the first time... Instead of running after her I turned around and walked away without a second thought. The only difference this time, I did have a second thought. I had many thoughts racing through my head, telling me to go distract the people, climb back in that tree and kiss her again, to even go and punch Jordan right in the jaw for how she treated Raenah. But in the end I decided this was the best; that just because I was turning around and walking away didn't mean that I was giving up on her.

I made that decision when I saw her at Marie's first volleyball game, how she walked into the gym as if she owned the place. It was amazing how from the moment she stepped foot into the gym she was nothing but serious about volleyball, even her warm up spike was killer. Then she started playing and it was like watching a little fire cracker. She moved on the court with grace and agility that would impress the high school football coaches. She dove for every ball, called out everyone's name when the ball was coming towards them, gave everything a hundred percent no matter what.

She was beautiful that day; her brown hair was tied into a ponytail, her shirt showed off her amazing curves that matched perfectly with that intense expression. When I saw her, everything just stopped and it was like the universe was just screaming at me, don't let her go. No matter what, don't let her go. From that moment I made it my secret mission to get her to let me into her brick wall she has built around herself. She let me know about Ryan, and how her first love was the reason all her trust was shattered, but I could tell she was still keeping a strong hold on her invincible fort.