Fool For You (Completed)

Part one

Ira is determined to sell Max Krukopf to me. Not physically. Just the idea of Max Krukopf. Physically.
His tall, solid frame. His golden blonde hair, the colour of shimmering honey. His shoulders which probably satisfy the golden ratio. His golden, delicious abs, which make him look like a swimwear model when he goes skinny dipping with us. His golden everything.

Max even has the raised vee lines on his golden tanned skin just below his abs leading down there. So well defined that you could probably cut yourself on that muscle.

We've sneaked a peek at him before we jumped into the college pool. Who wouldn't?

But that's beside the point. She thinks we'd look good together. That his ten inches on me, in heels, makes him the ideal guy to fuck.

Some girls check out butts. Some have a thing for foot size. Ira selects her targets by doing some insanely complicated calculations relating to their height to built ratios.

She has a theory about length and girth of body relating to length and girth of other things. The "perfect fit" or something like that.

"I mean, it's not like I've measured him but I'm sure he's hung. The package doesn't come with specifications printed on it, but the way he carries off those polo shirts. Yum."

Ira is doing the monologue thing she does when she's hard selling a guy to me.

"Wouldn't it be so much easier if it came printed, though? Guys have it so easy. They can make out our cup size, but we can't tell if it's as teeny as a flash drive or big as a baton. I hate not knowing what I'll be served."

I hum along in a noncommittal manner, pretending that I'm focusing hard on the road. There's no stopping Ira when she's on a roll.

"Women have to be like, buyer beware. So fucking unfair."

Her rant is now reaching its climax. I continue to nod and murmur in encouragement. My mind is elsewhere. When Max is mentioned, I can only think of his brother and my former friends with benefits, Theo.

"Which is why I think you should make a move on Max. Tonight. I mean, it's what--," she breaks off to check the time, "An hour to midnight. In an hours time you could easily seduce him. No?"

"Sure," I reply without looking away from the road. I'm too busy remembering the first time I seduced Theo. I talked dirty to him till he begged me to come over. The torment in his eyes as I stripped slowly in his room. God, it hurts to think of it now.

In the passenger seat, Ira is still campaigning.

"I know he's not your type. But he'd make a great spring fling. Just hump and dump."

Jesus, why isn't she letting up? This is a lesson for life, never give your roommate a lift to a party if you don't like her much. Besides I'm still recovering from last year's spring fling with Theo. How can I--

I jerk the car to a sudden stop, cutting her off mid sentence. We lurch and snap back with the seat belt. The breath gets knocked right out of me. Two figures stand at the edge of the road next to a beat up silver jeep that is smoking from the bonnet.

"Fuck, what was that for Kath?" Ira screeches. She hasn't noticed the jeep yet.

"Max Krukopf." I reply, not quite believing it. It just can't be.

She rolls her deep brown eyes in a ginormous circle. "Yeah, I've been saying that for hours, babe. Glad to know you were listening."

"No." I point to the two men who are walking over to our car now, "There."