Secret Admirer

Day 1

Morning Sunshine 😍

The fuck you doing awake at six in the morning?

You're such a lazy fatty 🙄 and you're late. It's twelve now and don't even try and lie and say that you woke up before and just looked at the phone now because we both know that the first thing you do when you wake up is reply to all your messages and then check through the news.

And only then is when you get your lazy yet perfectly toned ass up 🍑

Is this you trying to flirt? Because it's failing

And if you were judged on flirting then I swear to you you'd still be in kindergarten

Hey, we're in London, not America. No one calls it kindergarten- it's nursery

Hmm, sure 😒 what were you doing up anyways?

At least one of us have to keep fit in this relationship, right? I had to get to the gym because I gotta get up and do something for my mum. What's on your agenda today?

Who the hell says agenda? Weirdo 🙄 Mummy's boy then? 😏

Not even going to deny it 😂 I love my mum as much as anyone could ever love their mother. She is the woman who carried me for nine months, raised me to a perfect little boy and straightened me up when I needed

And I hope one day I can have someone as special as the woman my dad has by his side. Which I know is you but I would never have the courage to tell you how much I love you and how long I have wanted you to be mine

Calm down lover boy, no one mentioned love here

Lucinda Donovan, I know you're scared right now as you don't have control over this and you have no idea who I am but I want to tell you that you can trust me.

I love you with all my heart and when I fall asleep, I turn to my side and raise a hand to my empty pillow

Pretend to strike your cheek and whisper how much I love you and wishing you good night. You're the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with.

You do realise how creepy you sound right? 😳

Sorry sunshine! Fine, I'll drop this all this and we'll just talk about how you still haven't gotten your perfect ass out of bed yet!

Fuck you loverboy. If you really want to know then I'm staying in bed all day and my best friend Mason is coming over to be lazy with me

Cheating on me Sunshine? Already? 😭😭

Mason and I are only friends 😒

But? Do you wish you were more? 🤔

If you know me then you definitely know Mason and I'm not answering that question

That's basically a yes- if it was a no then you would have said no. I know you Sunshine, you waffle on from the answer if you lie. So is it just a crush or do you looooovvvvee him? 😉

You know Mason, how can anyone not fall in love with him?

Forget I said that!!

Ahhh, so how long have loved your bestie?

I don't know...does anyone ever know how long they've loved someone? You just suddenly realise don't you?

Exactly how I feel about you. Maybe I should just stop messaging you since you already love Mase 💔

Aww, lover boy, have I officially broken your heart?

You broke my heart when you kissed that random guy at the party two years ago. Had a snog and I never heard from you until the next morning.

Oh yeah...Sorry about that 🙈 he wasn't even all that- I give a 4

Guy didn't even last five minutes

Almost went into the wrong hole

Like, if people want anal, okay

But that's just ducking gross

Stupid autocorrect 🙄

Well he got more than 1 right? Think positive 😉

Sorry, I'm a pessimist

I know Sunshine and I won't even try to change you because you are perfect and I love you the way you are.

I gotta go, I'll talk to you tonight, okay?

Kay have fun loverboy

Try not to snog Masons face when he comes over, okay? You're mine and I don't want no extra drama when I do my famous face reveal

Shut up

You're blushing, I know you are. Anyways, I'll talk to you later. I'll miss you sunshine 😘😘😘