Dragon Age Pavellan One Shot : I Just Want to Sleep

I Just Want To Sleep

Could the crackling fire be any more haunting? At what point did the sound of snapping twigs under the scorching flame begin to muddle with the sound of breaking bones? Should that tell the Inquisitor something about himself? At what point did death become something he thought about so naturally? Jokes aside, it disgusted Pelle just how normal it had become for him to take the life of another. As a healer it racked his soul with guilt to even think about.

Pelledir spent several nights drowning in these thoughts. It was as if his brain lived to tear him down when the moment of silence finally arrived. It kept him from sleeping, kept him from eating, it kept him from functioning the way any living creature should.

"For the Inquisition.." He murmured before giving a scoff that slowly became a choked laughter. "Sod it." He hissed burying his face into his anchored hand.

What Pelledir would have given to erase the image of Varric's grief from his mind. What he would give to forget the story Varric told about Hawke inviting his pursuers to a game of Wicked Grace, to unsee Varric writing the news to Hawke's lover Fenris. He would give anything....literally anything to have returned to Skyhold with better news than he'd brought.

Why must everything end in death? Could nothing be solved without tragedy? If only the Inquisitor were still naieve enough to believe such a thing. He used to be, it felt like his innocent ideals were years behind him. In reality it had been but mere months. It was no wonder his Keeper did not wish for him to leave the Clan nor lead them. Amazing how quickly reality had ever so delicately destroyed him.

"Thinking of taking a dip into the flames are we? I wouldn't advise it. It's terrible for the skin I hear."

A familiar voice. A voice that could brighten any of the doom and gloom Pelledir was forced to behold on a daily basis. Today however, he didn't want to be blessed with it. He didn't deserve it. Still the pleasure that came with hearing the voice of his lover had put a weak smile on his face. He did not turn to face them for fear of exposing his grief bound expression. If he could keep from being comforted he would, he wasn't the one who needed it after all. Not the way he saw it at least.

"Something told me you'd be up here groveling to yourself for forgiveness. Allow me to save you a bit of time. You won't find it. Not here at least."

Pelledir let out a deep sigh. "Why are you here Dorian?" He inquired still obstinately refusing direct eye contact with the Tevinter mage.
He offered no more than a passive glance. It was perhaps the swiftest look he'd ever taken of Dorian. He often took in long swooning gazes of the mage paying attention to every detail, every buckle on that outfit of his. Even with the short glance he'd spared he could not resist noticing the pair of captivating eyes that watched over him with such a disquiet silence. From the corner of his amber eyes Pelledir saw Dorian lean against the frame of the wooden banister.

"Do I need a reason?" He replied only tossing the question right back.

Of course. Dorian could never answer a question without spitting one right back. How could the Inquisitor expect any less? Ever since they'd met Dorian was always making Pelledir think. He would question the words Pelledir uttered and even inform him that what he spoke was utter nonsense. It was a part of who they were as a pair. Dorian could not answer a question without asking another, meanwhile Pelle could never be clear nor concise with his words. As far as Dorian was concerned the Inquisitor rarely mean what he said entirely. There was always at least one small detail left out, sometimes that detail was pleasurable and other times not.

"I suppose not." Pelledir replied. "It wouldn't be the first time you appeared in here without warning."

"Nor will it be the last." Dorian remarked standing up up straight and inviting himself inside.