Alone

mad and sad

I feel alone

mad and sad

angry at everything

which I thought joy would bring

A spiral down so deep

No one's heart could ever reach

A darkness and wretchedness

even light could not see

A pace of events in which wills are broken and bent.

hammering away at closed doors

I cannot do it no more

giving up is the only way

I have nothing to say

helpless and unguarded

I allow myself to float away unregarded

there is only do much one can do

letting go finally is the only clue

life will extract it's due

maybe it is time to move on

put the shine and say you are fine.

 .

Walk alone and atone

for your sins you never had a clue about

Loneliness shouts

A merry go round

A lonely sound

countless rebounds

unending sorries

undefined guilt

for every time you nearly quit

soul talks

lonely walks

sitting on a chair pulling your hair

wondering how you got here

for every look queer.

.

A silent love dear

words that sear

for the one you thought was near

for words not said

every time you wished you were dead

A mistake you fled

A encounter you dread

A moment you let go

a look that says I said so

.

Smiles that lie

a look of why don't you die?

your funny face having no place

The crushing debt of unspoken promises

which only you felt

tests you passed and failed

Every time you jumped and bailed

while others smoothly sailed

for your sad jubilations

for the time you tripped

when you lost your grip

and floated away on the drug ship.

.

For every shoulder chip

your high and mighty slips

for things you don't even remember.

memory lanes which clamber

your conscience they hammer

your soft heart chamber

The fast heart beats

Only time cannot cheat

Muffled cries

warm flowing tears

unfounded fears

Hurtful jeers

Where do I end?

Maybe being alone will make amends.