Psych Me Out (boyxboy)

Chapter 4- I Thought

"Hello?" I said this like four times before the other end answered.

"Hey," I was Jensen. His voice was soft and shallow. Like he had been crying.

"What's wrong?" I asked. Jensen doesn't normally cry. I was worried.

"I know you probably just got home but," pause, sniff, continue, "can you come back?"

Why didn't he tell me this in the car? Why was he crying? I was starting to go in protective mode. My heart was beating fast and I was getting jittery. Stop. Calm down. Jensen is a big boy, why am I getting worked up?

"Whiat?" Jensen whispered. I almost forgot I was on the phone. He sounded worried now.

"Yeah, yeah I'm coming," I grabbed a zip up and my keys. "I will see you in a couple minutes." I hung up and went out the door toward my car.

*Jensen's POV*

"Is he coming?" Sutton asked after I hung up. She was wearing one of those silly birthday hats. It matched the table clothe, balloons, cups and plates. My living room and kitchen looked like a four year olds birthday. But what are you gunna do when you shop at the dollar store?

A grin came across my face. Whiat had no idea. "Yeah, and he probably thinks I'm sad and crying or something." I made it sound like I was crying on the phone to make sure Whiat would come back to my house. I would have just had him come in when he dropped me off, but nothing was ready.

Jason brought the cake out to the table. "Do you think he will remember this time?"

A wave of sadness came over me. Whiat hasn't remembered yet. He gives off no signs of it.

Charlie hugs me. "He will, just give it more time." She let go and grabbed my shoulders. I nodded to not only erasure her but myself as well. I was getting tired of waiting though. When Whiat kissed me in Sutton's basement I thought for sure he remembered. Apparently not.

"It's been a year now," Gavin broke the awkward silence.

A year goo now, on his own birthday, Whait was hit by a drunk driver. Right in the driver's side. Unconscious when the police came. His car had to be cut open to get him out. I found out when his parents were at my door step wanting me to go with them to the hospital. I had no idea what was going on. On the way there they told me. He wasn't responding to anything. He wasn't waking up. That's when realization hit me and I broke down in the back of the car. I could loose the person I loved most.

A sense of understanding lingered in the air. Nobody knew what to say partly because it's been said before and partly because we already know it.

Whiat didn't even knock when he came in. He pushed in shouting my name. Everyone sucked down in the kitchen.

I called him, "Whiat, in here"

He came in and almost had a heart attack when Charlie, Gavin, Sutton and Jason jumped up yelling "Happy birthday!" His face was joyous and scared all at the same time. Then when he saw me it was mad, confused and worried. So many emotions on one face. I was just standing there while he tried to make sense of the surprise.

"I didn't think you would throw a party!" He finally laughed. He settled on the emotion happy. Good choice. He looked so innocent. And happy. Why did he have to forget me? When the doctors finally got him to wake up and start responding, I thought it was over and he would heal and it would be as if it never happened. But when I went to visit him, he didn't remember me. Well, he knew me, but he thought we were just friends. Just friends. He forgot US. How? The doctor told me I shouldn't push it. That I should make him remember. "He has to do it himself. Act like how it first happened." The doctors said that's what I had to do. So I did. It was taking to long.

I wanted him back. I wanted us back. I wanted to be able to could've to a movie and walk down the hallway holding hands. the little things I took for granted a year ago. I couldn't stand it any longer. Him kissing me in Sutton's basement was enough for me. I went over to him and pulled him in for the long awaited kiss I had been wanting.

*Whiat's POV*

Jensen surprised me not only with a party, but a kiss. He was kissing me. Right I front of everyone of our closest friends. And I...didn't care? This felt different. It felt right. Like I had done it before. I kissed back immediately. I wanted to. I know what I want now. I want Jensen. I want to cuddle him during movies and show him off by holding his hand in the hallways at school. Little things like that. That's how it was in my dreams. His laughing at a stupid joke of mine. Holding my hand. Watching Iron Man late at night in my room.

When he stopped kissing me, it felt like I was hit by a truck. I wanted more. Then a thought crosse my mind: me getting hit by a truck. Blood everywhere. Hospital room. I felt dizzy and sat down at the kitchen table. This thought was all too real. Like déjà vu.

That's it. It was too real. The kiss. The surreal dreams. The truck. Me in the hospital. It was real. It WAS real. It did happened before. I shook my head and shot straight up to meet Jensen. For the longest time I tried to find the right words to say, to explain how sorry I was for not remembering. Tears welled up in my eyes and all I could do was out my head in the crook of Jensen's neck. He seemed to get what was going on.

"Shhhhh, it's ok, I'm here." He whispered, running his hand down my back. He knew exactly what was going on. I had been lost for a year and now I was back. "Chocolate cake, the same kind as last year." I let go and recouped myself. No more crying. No more. I now remembered everything from that day.

I had a birthday over at Jensen's. The crew was there and we were having fun. I was sitting on Jensen's lap and we were eating chocolate cake. I wanted ice cream, but there was none. I was the only one with a car, so I went out to get some. and never came back. Not for a whole year.

Now that I am, I am totally fine with not having ice cream. All I wanted was to carry on that scene. I looked at Jensen and he patted his lap. I smiled and sat down. I got myself a slice of cake. Bringing a bite up to my mouth I thought: this was going to be the best damn piece of cake.