Like a Shooting Star Fades

Part 3

It's two years later. Occasionally she crosses my mind. Once I thought I saw her at a show and my heart stopped for a moment. But I was mistaken, it was not her. We are on tour again. I think of her when we play the same venues as before, but I don't see her. She is a small fragment of memory from long ago, relegated to the chapters of my past like so many other faces.

This is a new city, fresh meat. People who used to be fans, coming purely for the nostalgia. I have mixed feelings about these shows: excited to show these people what we can do, and disprove their ideas of what we are, and yet nervous that we won't live up to some ideal, or they won't be impressed. These are the places I am most thankful for our die-hard fans. The audience is an unknown, but at the front of that stage are the ones who have stuck by us all this time. They are our safety. They may be few in number in a place like this, but they are big in heart.

We play an intimate members only show to a small number, our die-hards. They barely make up 3 rows infront of the stage. I keep my head down, not really feeling it today, despite the love and enthusiasm radiating from those few rows. When we're done I go to leave but I have forgotten my water bottle, and I double back to get it. As I reach down to grab it, I see her. I falter for a moment. I straighten up, stumbling a little, hoping no one notices that I have momentarily forgotten to breathe. There is a split second where our eyes are locked. I tear myself away, practically sprinting into the wings. The boys have already headed back to the greenroom, but I have to stop for a minute. I lean against the wall, exhilarated and a little stunned. She startled me, I did not expect that. What is she doing here? Of all places? Her hair is longer. Her eyes are the same.

Why does this have such an effect on me? I was bound to see her again at some point. She is a fan, one of thousands. There is nothing astounding that makes her any different. Except, when we lock eyes, it's something. I don't know what it is. But it's something.

Now that I know she's here, I relax. I am relieved to see her again. I hope she is standing in the same spot, right in my eyeline. The odds are slim but I want the comfort of her. There are people you struggle to hold eye contact with, and then there are the rare few who's eyes you can gaze into without it ever feeling uncomfortable. She is the pinnacle of those few.

The wait is rough. I can't keep still. I want to get out there. I want to be in that place with her again, like we were two years before. I want to be with her. I shake my head to loosen those thoughts. I don't want to be with her, that's not what this is.

Finally, it's time. I take my place in the dark, willing the lights on. We start to play and when I can see again, I find her. Immediately. Right where I hoped she would be. I am overtaken by deja-vu. I'm lost in the song, in her. The world slows down a little bit in that brief moment. Did she stand there on purpose? What are the odds that after all this time we are back here at the start?

She is grinning at me as she sings along. And I am grinning back, unable to help it. I cannot be imagining this. She feels it too, I'm sure of it. From where I'm sitting, it is electric between us. There's no way she is unaware of this.

I want to play her the song I wrote, but it's not on the setlist tonight. Damn it. She doesn't know it's for her, though. She won't miss it.

She is having a great time. She is dancing, and singing. Singing to me. Her and I are having a party all of our own. I have to force myself to give the rest of the crowd some love so I don't overdo it with her. This is different from the first time. I feel like we have known each other forever, like this is the most natural thing on the planet. We have a great show. The audience is amazing. I should never have been concerned about how they would receive us. We have definitely won them over. And I am on fire tonight. I have no doubt she has something to do with that.

The show comes to an end. I don't want it to. I don't want to leave this place. I throw her one last smile before I leave the stage, willing her to come and find me.

I can't leave there fast enough. For once, I cannot wait to get out to the stage door. This time I feel certain she will be there. And I'm right.

There are people between us. I absentmindedly sign autographs and take pictures. She is getting gradually closer. And then finally, she is infront of me. Mere inches away.

"Hi" she says.

I inhale, fresh night air filling my lungs. It feels like a weight lifts off of me. I pull her to me, my arm around her waist. She is warm, despite the chilly night air. She is soft, and warm, and for the first time, tangible. There are so many people here. I am so conscious of their eyes. We smile as her friend holds up the camera and we are blinded by the flash. I ask her her name. She tells me, and I tell her how nice it is to meet her, finally. I hope that that last word resonates with her, delivers her some kind of message. That I have waited for this. Waited for her.

She gives me a little squeeze round the waist before we release each other. I understand. I know she is telling me what I've known all along- that she sees me. That she understands me. That she can feel it too.

There are people waiting, she slips away from me and disappears into the crowd. I don't feel the loss, I only feel elated that we have finally met. And that I finally know her name.

(MORE TO COME, PLEASE CHECK BACK)