The wood was cool on his skin as Harry rolled his face against the table — with a hand on an open book, of course, so he couldn't be accused of doing nothing.
He had decided to just skip dinner tonight and continue hiding here, but he would definitely need to stop by the kitchens later. He'd already eaten the sandwich he'd taken with him a few hours ago, and he would need more food before night. Harry wasn't looking forward to confronting the kitchen without Dobby's exuberant presence, but that was a problem for when he got to it.
The library was as usual on a weeknight: several students (mostly Hufflepuffs) crowded around tables in the back to study together quietly, and a few others from various houses scattered around or wandering the stacks.
This was good for Harry, because if he chose the table he was currently sat at, he could tell easily if someone he didn't want to talk to (which was everyone) was approaching. He wasn't sure what he would do if they approached, but at least he could see. The group study tables were in front of him, and the entrance to the library was to his left, so pretty much everything (besides some spaces between the stacks and alcoves) was in his view.
This was, of course, provided he was actually looking, he realised, as he felt a gentle tap on his shoulder. He lifted his head and his spirits sank. Ginny.
It wasn't that he didn't like her, or that he didn't appreciate her company just as much as Ron and Hermione's in theory, it was just that firstly, she was another person, and secondly...well, he'd just left her hanging without any answers. He felt bad that he'd never addressed the situation, but quite honestly he had just never felt up to it.
The discussion would be complicated and messy, because he had promised that he and Ginny would get back together after everything was over, and he still loved her but he didn't know how to have a relationship anymore. It seemed like so much effort, and he never wanted to be around anyone anymore; and he doubted Ginny would react well to her boyfriend constantly avoiding and ignoring her...just as he had already been doing. They weren't technically together anymore though, he was just avoiding the conversation.
Unfortunately, Harry couldn't very well pretend he didn't notice her right here, and it was looking like he might actually be forced to interact with her again. Wonderful.
"Hey Harry," she said gently.
She had every right to be angry, but Harry supposed she had gotten the memo that he wasn't functioning well and was treating him delicately. Not that he needed it. He was fine, and he wished she would just yell at him for being a terrible boyfriend or something already, but it was clear she wasn't going to today.
"Hi Gin," he sighed.
"How are you doing, back at Hogwarts?" She sat down in the seat next to him and faced him, adopting an interested expression. She had always done that when she knew he wanted to brush an issue off so that he knew she was really listening.
"It's alright," he answered hesitantly. "Sucks having to do schoolwork again, but it's also kind of nice to be back, you know? Besides all of the reminders of dead people, that is," he scoffed.
Ginny was quiet for a moment.
"Yeah, I understand that. How are you doing with all of the people? I know you were all closed away this summer, so that's a big change."
"I don't like it, but I can deal with it. People pretty much leave me alone, it's just Ron and Hermione really that are too much."
"Really? You guys don't really seem to have been hanging out that much."
"Yeah, but it's been multiple days with me seeing them multiple times each day. It's kind of a lot when you compare it to not seeing anyone ever," Harry's tone became a bit sharp.
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Extruendam Eam
FanfictionWar is difficult and traumatic. People die. People sacrifice. People get back up and put themselves back together when it's over. Harry isn't putting himself back together. He's been through a lot, and he's always been able to make it to the other s...