A letter for my Prince

When i was a kid, i dreamt to be a princess. Where I can have almost everything in life, especially a 'Prince' so everything will be perfect I might say. I almost drowned in my 20 years of searching for my Prince. Life was unfair! I woke up everyday asking God, what do I need to do to find my Prince, and yet, no answers from Him. I tried hard to impressed every man that I liked, I showed to them the other side of me, my alter ego to be specific. I pretended to be the nicest girl ever just to please them. I changed almost everything in my personality for them to love me. I almost died in tears whenever someone rejects me. I've been rejected for my whole life. My father was the first. Too drastic, yes it was. I fell in love with hate, with anger and with thought that no one will love me. My life was miserable and I had that fear of falling in love again or committing. I didn't believe in relationships, I used to call it relationSHITS before. I can't believe of the all the agony I had. I begun to believe that love is not real, it ain't exist. I stopped asking God about when I will meet my Prince because I found out that Prince's only exists in fairytales. I was hurt everyday knowing that no one will love me and appreciate me. Jealous was something I had whenever I'm seeing couples everywhere. Till one day... 

August 5, 2013 was that day. I won't forget that day for the rest of my life. I met a guy who really caught my attention. I used to believe that he did because he resembled of my past. However, I need to  correct myself, No! he didn't. God answered my question finally. I found my Prince already but my Prince has already a Princess. How can I be his Princess? My happiness shattered and I begun to blame God for letting me fall in love with the wrong Prince. I tried to keep everything, all the feelings and admirations for my Prince but he really derserves to know the truth. 

September 6, 2013 marked the history of Philippines folkloric story. I confessed my love for my Prince. That was the day I felt the most devastation ever. He didn't reject me by the way. I just felt stupid confessing it for my prince who already has a princess. Then again, it happened, all happened in God's plan. I was quite happy because that night, my Prince told me that I can be his princess if ... . The if was like questionnable for me. However, I started to believe that Prince's really do exist. 

Everyday of being with my Prince, I felt like we're in the palace dancing all night. There was a time I thought that I'm Cinderalla with gold doll shoes. HAHAHA. My Prince brought me to all the place I've never been in my life. He let me feel the ambiance of National Museum because he found out that I love history. He let me feel the rides of Star City because he discovered that I had a fear of rides. He let me see the lights and sounds at Ayala because he knows how I love perfect view. He brought me to St. Jude where in I experienced my first mass with him and my first witnessed of a live wedding. He brought me to Santa House because he knows that I like to discover new things and how I love pictures. He accompanied me to Antipolo church because I told him my fear of that church because of broken promises. He was with me to captured how Ginebra played my loving Petron. All those memories are what I have now. 

December 25, 2013 was the date of my Prince's first I love you. The ticking of the clock stopped and it seemed like the whole Mall of Asia sank 100 cm below see level because of the intensity of those three words. His first I love you let me feel and believe that 'Dreams do really come true'. That Christmas marked the history of my life. The gratitude I felt was PRICELESS. 

January 1, 2014 was the first day of the year. My first meal was with my Prince and my whole first day as well. No one can under estimate what we have and I will fight for it. That day was just a start of all the ups and downs of us. I knew it already, challenges and hardships are all lined-up. 

Things went complicated, it wasn't easy. My Prince and his Princess had problem. I almost forgot that I'm not his Princess. Everything turned out to be difficult not only for my Prince but also for me. The only thing I had in my mind that time were questions. The basic question I had was, who will my Prince choose to be his princess? Will it be the original Princess or me? That question left unaswered. 

January 30, 2014-February 2, 2014 was my birthday week. Luckily, I spent my special day with my Prince. Ilocos was the place, the place where I had all the luxuries to own my Prince ( even for that weekend). The first day was awesome.  We really love Vigan, good thing that we are in to history. All the sidetrips were fabulous and the laughters that we shared were unforgetabble. First night out of Manila was the best part I might say, not because that, but knowing that I will wake up with him and spend the next day with him. Second day was great, the beach moment especially, all are pictures can speak. Breaking up with him on our second night was the most stupid thing I ever did in my life. Why would I break up to the man of my dreams? Oh come on! I still regret that night when I walked out the room cried outside, good thing that my Prince fetched me. Third day was the saddest part, because tomorrow, back to reality. My prince will not be mine again. However, instead of dealing with that stupid thought, why not enjoy the last day? I did. We did. 

Back to reality... I visited my Prince palace. I was nervous to be in his kingdom actually. My prince cooked for me and that was the sweetest thing he did for me, next is his hugs and kisses. All set for Febuary, the love month for the most of them. 

Febuary 5, 2014 was the day when my Prince really needs to choose on who he wants to be his princess. Actually, that day was the most heartfelt day of my life. It was a now or never decision for him. Whoever my Prince will choose, it will still give pain to me and I knew it already. He chose me. I stopped. I didn't how to react. Will i be happy because I'm already his princess finally or will I be sad because of my guiltness for the other Princess. However, the decision has been made. 

Febuary 14-15, 2014 were the most romantic days of my hopeless romantic life. The  first Valentines day with my Prince was perfect! He treated me like a queen not a Princess but of course I will stick to be his Princess. He filled my heart with happiness and contentment. He let me believe in love again. He showed me the true meaning of that day that no one did. He gave me the best gift in the world, his love. 

Everything was perfect, till one day, the other Princess wants to be his Princess again. How am I going to deal with it? The other Princess seems so brave to fight for my Prince again. How am I going to fight for my Prince as well? My prince is torn, my prince is so confused. How am I going to handle this situation?

In almost half a year that I'm with my Prince, I learned almost all the lessons in life. First is, love is acceptance. In order for you to truly love one person, you need to accept everything in him, his flaws and his mistakes. Acceptance is what I have everyday I'm with him. It motivated me before and I know it will motivate me even more. Second, love is understanding. My prince is the only person who understands  me. My bipolarness and immaturities, he whole-heartedly accepts it so why would I deprive it for him. I understand everything about my Prince , and that's surely the reason why we're still together now. All his points and arguments even sometimes are off-tangent are understandable. That's how undestanding works for me. Third, love is happiness. We are the master of our own happiness. What we have, some of them might not understand, that's how unique we are. We are happy whenever we are together and we're not doubting it. It's kind'a crazy how we can turn an ordinary days to an extraordinary ones, or we're really just soulmate from heaven. The sparks that we have can beat the Philippines' pyromusical piece. It's extraordinary. It's quite crazy as well how we can understand each other bu just looking in each others eyes. Look! Even by just smirk, we already know everything.

The greatest learning he thought me in life is be yourself! I lived my life pretending and changing for others but when I met my Prince he changed me. I didn't notice that everything is so natural. No need for pretentions and disguises, just be you. He loves me for who I am and he's not changing me to feed his ego, that's what I love about my Prince. 

Now, my Prince is in his state of confusion again... and I don't know how to handle him again. But one thing is for sure. Today, I will apply all the things I learned from him. Acceptance, Understanding, Happiness and be yourself are the keys for everything. I trust my Prince. Whatever his  decision. I will be here for him. I may not be beside him every second of the day but he needs to remember that my heart beats for him.  I will always love him through hardships and happiness. That's a promise that I won't break. 

I hope this letter will reach my Prince......