Light // A short Tony Stark story

II

Short seconds after the lusty howl, a shadow of a large man reflected on Tony's table. He could see his broad figure from the corner of his eyes. Tony sighed and looked up calmly. The moment his eyes met the sharp blue ones, his heart palpitation had become severe. His own stomach clenched painfully with a surge of rage followed quickly by a strong urge to punch the guy. The blue orbs were softer than he remembered, under them were fragile scarred skin, tinted with the lightest shade of purple. The face was still clean but touched with a light stubble, lips ever so thin pressed tightly and the brownish eyebrows were sagging a bit. "What the hell are you doing here?" Stark blurted bitterly but the captain expected it, "I came to bring my friend back," Steve Rogers told his hurt mate, "May I sit please?" He asked but the stubbornness denied Tony from responding. He bit his tongue too hard he could taste his blood as it leaked from it. Both anger and loathness were building up inside him. "I'll take this as a yes." Steve placed his water bottle on the tray. He shakily folded his huge arms over the table and studied the worn face.

Out of all the people he could've seen that night, Steve Rogers decided to have the unpleasant honor. A guy he considered a friend, a brother. Seeing him provoked his poorly patched heart. The eternal pressure started to push the bottled up emotions to an edge, ready to burst out violently at any second.

Tony balled up his hands under the table into tight fists, begging for his feelings to calm down. "How did you find me, Rogers." He said through gritted teeth, trying but failing at hiding the unhappiness and hurt. "All roads lead to Rome right?" The captain was making an effort at keeping his features as soft as possible, seeking a calm conversation with Stark. They both knew it was impossible. "Do I look like I'm in a joking mode?" Tony unrestrainedly snapped, "How did you find me, Rogers?" He repeated impatiently. His body shook with annoyance, knocking the calm mask off. That ninth cup of coffee might been a mistake, all of his nerves were taut.

Steve looked around, making sure they weren't making a scene. "Tony, I need you to rela -" Steve began, but Tony cut him off icily, "You don't get to call me that anymore." Steve's mouth froze and stayed open, wanting to comprehend the uncharacteristic cold in Stark's voice but he knew that he was the reason behind it. He drew a long breath in, barely managing his calmness too. "We got help from Friday, we were hopeless." He answered the question. "Fucking AI's," Tony thought but remained silent. Steve fiddled with his hands, finding a safe way to start the conversation. "How have you been Tony? We've been worried." He finally asked but his tone was clearly lacking the genuineness. Tony smiled weakly at the fake concern, "Yeah I can tell, it's unbelievably obvious." He sarcastically replied to the Captain's question, that only made him feel lower.

Steve lowered his head and swallowed hard, cursing his ability to express. His hands trembled as they he lightly drummed against the table. He stared at them before lifting his head again to explain the surprise visit. "I didn't realize it until the day you've left us Stark. All these years, the indescribable things you've been doing for us and we ... I took you for granted. And this is all," He paused, hating to admit the truth. "I did this to us, and I hated doing it. Believe me." Steve thought he threw some of the weight off his shoulders but he didn't.  "I never knew you were the man that glued us all together." He continued, aiming to take the edge off Tony's temper.

Tony's blood started to boil from Steve's nonsense. He stiffened in his chair staring into space behind Steve's shoulders. He wanted to believe him, he tried so hard but a million reasons in his mind proved the opposite of Roger's words. "I realized that," he paused for a moment, "You're the light and since you been gone, I've been living in darkness, we are all living in darkness." It took a lot of courage from Steve to admit the truth, he just didn't know he was adding more gasoline to the fire. Tony held his head between his hands, not able to stand the made up things Steve was babbling about. It was beginning to attack him more than comforting him. "Stop," Tony mumbled, raking his fingers through his dark hair that've been kissed with little gray hairs and started to pull on it. "Everything's wrecked and unanchored without you Stark. I'm tremendously sorry for what happened.."

"Please stop." Tony winced from the pain as the flashbacks of his mother and Siberia's fight hit his brain like a train. He couldn't take one more word from the guy who betrayed him. Rapidly against the rib cage, his heart hammered inside his chest, Metal and fire replaced the air inside his lungs.

"You are loved, probably more than you know." Steve recklessly went on  regardless of Tony's state, "You may not realize it but-"

"Stop f*cking lying to me Rogers!" Stark abruptly roared overly loud with uncontrollable anger, bringing the whole cafe to silence where only the sound of music kept going. Steve snapped his mouth shut not daring to say another word. He cleared his throat and shifted in his chair unthinkingly. Tony, however, couldn't care less of their surroundings. The air got electrified, adding more strength to the tension between the two.

"You're not sorry Rogers and you'll never be." The genius fumed again. He was struggling to find a reason to believe the man in front of him, he needed a cause to tame his raging storm. He was desperate for a good memory that'd mend his shattered heart, hungry for a reason that'd bring him back to his family but there wasn't any, they were all smudged with bad blood. "Every moment Rogers, every minute we spent together turned into memories that throb with pain, they feel like daggers cutting through my chest every time I think about you." His eyes shone with hot tears but he couldn't let them fall, he couldn't let himself break in front of Steve. "Do you remember every word you ever said to me? Remember how you constantly make me feel like a waste of space? Have you seen the amount of hatred and malice that were flooding your eyes that night?"

Knots twisted in Steve's stomach, giving him a sick feeling from recalling the past. "And now you suddenly appear out of nowhere wanting me to believe that I'm loved? That you guys care? You don't give a flying f*ck about me. You're not sorry about anything Rogers, you're only here because you want Iron man back." His tone laced with distress and disappointment. The conversation had reached an end to Stark, he couldn't dig deeper in his  emotional chaos. Steve, on the other hand, didn't want to drop it and set Tony free, he made a promise that he'd staple the wounds shut again.

Tony started to get up to leave, color draining from his face. "That's not true Tony," Steve rose to his feet quickly, his hoodie tightening around his chest as the muscles underneath contracted with tensity. He extended a hand to hold a strong grip on Tony's shoulder but he blocked it powerfully, sending the man's hand flying backward. Tony stared deeply at the muscular guy, enabling him to read his eyes, "Save your talk Rogers, stay out of my life." He reached for his umbrella and kicked off to leave, Steve followed pleadingly, "Hey I know I didn't deserve the love and respect you gave but we're a family Tony, I can't just simply give you up." Steve tried to clear the polluted image that'd printed in Tony's brain but it was no use. Tony opened the cafe's door, getting exposed to a freezing wind, loaded with heavy rain. He quickly put up his umbrella and faced Steve again, "It's too late, I already made up my mind. I wish I could restart everything but you see, it's impossible." He wanted to walk away but Steve inched forward not giving up on his failing attempts, "I promise you, Tony, I'll do better. I'll correct the mistakes, It's never too late, we can do this together." He assured, raw emotions taking control of his voice. "No, it is late." Tony corrected, "Give the others my regards, tell them they did a terrible job writing you the apology." He added and turned to walk against the howling winds leaving Steve rooted to his spot. "Tony stop, I'm not done talking to you." Steve fired hopelessly, holding onto what seemed to be his last chance. Although he knew that it was absolutely useless to even try at that point.

Tony stark's cheeks were already glistening with tears of a heartbreak, "Goodbye Rogers, you'll hear about me soon." He croaked and disappeared into the dark soaking streets, wishing he could rewind the time and change his mind.