Still-Born Shout [#wattys2017]

Chapter Fifteen

When Sif and Farkas returned to Jorrvaskr, Aela wasted no time informing them that Skjor had been killed. He had charged into a Silver Hand hideout without waiting for any help from the others and he was slaughtered. Sif didn't care much; Skjor had never had much of an effect on her. She was aware that Farkas seemed to be slightly distressed by the news, however. She seemed to have gained a sensitivity to Farkas's feelings... She didn't understand how, exactly, but she felt it very clearly after he had taken her back to the College.

She didn't remember much from their initial journey to Winterhold, only that the twins, Aela, and Kodlak had taken her to Farengar before she and Farkas left Whiterun. She didn't like to remember Mora's return. It was painful for her.

When she had stepped up to the stone fountain to accept the beastblood from Aela, she knew perfectly well what she was doing. Mora had forbidden her from attempting to seal her pact by returning the Skeleton Key to Nocturnal months ago. She seemed to theorize that if she solidified her promise to Nocturnal, Mora's hold over her would be weakened. Before Skjor had approached Sif to offer her the beastblood, Kodlak had informed her that those cursed with the beastblood were bound to the Daedric Lord Hircine. After Kodlak told her that their souls were indebted to Hircine after death, she immediately thought that if she made a pact with Hircine, she could somehow sever her ties with Mora.

She was wrong.

Her soul was bound to Mora. He screamed this as he came roaring back into her head, immediately after she tasted Aela's blood on her lips. From that moment on, everything became a blur. She remembered feeling hands holding her still, supporting her, as she experienced the most excruciating pain she had ever felt.

"You ungrateful little worm!" Mora had boomed, causing a thousand shades of red to wash over her vision. She could almost see his black, endless form, engulfing her piece by piece. "You think that Hircine can save you?! I'll have your soul, Still-Born! I'll devour it in the depths of Oblivion!"

She did remember feeling a slight moment of relief from the endless pressure, coming to when Farengar had cast a calming spell on her, just as Savos had done before. Her eyes scanned the room, desperately, looking for a sign of something that could aid her bleeding soul.

Her eyes were drawn to Farkas, who was standing right above her, a look of sheer terror evident on his scarred face. When her pupils connected with his, she saw light. A light so blinding... She almost felt like raising her arm over her head to protect herself from the shine. It looked as if a thousand suns had risen, but she had never felt so warm. Something hidden deep inside of her told her that this was the feeling she had been searching for, this was the feeling she had craved her entire life. Her thoughts flashed to Ulfric, just for a moment, but no... That same something told her that he was right for most things, but not for this. Everything she had needed, the Divines seemed to echo in her head that everything she needed was standing right above her...

Mora came tearing back.

"You disgusting waste of flesh!" he boomed, causing her hands to fly to her temples, making everything turn red once more. "I will make you pay for your insolence!"

Calm. Once more, she saw Farkas standing over her, shining into her eyes. Suddenly, she realized; he was the thousand suns. She swung her legs over the table and they made their way out into the cold.

She had recalled Farkas's fear of large spiders, one that he had expressed to her when they were traveling through the Dustman's Cairn; he had also mentioned a fear of horses. She remembered.

"Dumb, unpredictable animals. They're afraid of everything," he had said, prompting a reply from Sif.

"Their fear of everything makes you fear them?" she had asked, as they quietly crept from room to room.