Automatic

Chapter 30. I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

After Kevin discovered Edd's incredible gift for music, the day turned sour as he had his talk with Christine. There was a lot of crying and incoherent words as Kevin tried to get it in her head that yes, this was happening and he'd come back every chance he got. Kevin sat her on the couch in her office while she cried and sat next to her. "It's not forever, okay? It'll be alright."

She merely nodded with her head in her hands. Kevin looked at Edd for support, but he was leaning against the far wall tugging on his fingers as if he were nervous. A strange look had smeared itself across his face. "Edd, are you okay?" Kevin asked, his arms tightening a little around Christine's shoulders, making the older woman look up at her son as well.

Edd's quickly turned his attention to the two people sitting on the couch and gave a tired smile. "Me? Yes, I'm fine."

Kevin was surprised as Christine started to sob harder, all her emotions were hitting her at once. "Oh, god! My boys..." she sobbed back into her hands. Edd rubbed his face harshly with both hands and pushed himself off the wall, going over to kneel in front of his mother.

"Mom." he said in a hushed voice, gently prying her hands away from her face. "Remember what I told you earlier? What did I say?"

Christine sniffed once but remained quiet. "I'll be damned." he said for her which caused her to smile a little at her son's curse. It sounded foreign coming from his pale lips.

...

"Hey Babe?"

Edd's ears perked up as he heard his name. "Hm?" he hummed, not looking away from his book.

"Are ya feelin' better? You haven't gotten sick yet and it's like, almost nine." Kevin asked as he grabbed a soda from the kitchen and flopped down on the couch.

"Oh, yes." Edd smiled and set his his book down on the coffee table. "I got another new prescription today, it's much better than the last batch."

Kevin sighed happily as Edd ran his fingers through his long bangs. "That's good. Have I told you lately how much I love you?"

Edd giggled. "Everyday. Why?"

Kevin sat up to face Edd on the couch. "Because." he placed a long kiss on the smaller teen's lips. "I know you've been tryin' real hard to be happy and support me even though you're sad. It means a lot Edd, thank you."

Edd's smile faded a little as he looked up at Kevin and took a moment to appreciate the man before him. It was strange how Edd never saw him as a soldier until a week ago and now it was so blatantly obvious. This is who Kevin is, who he always has been and it broke Edd's heart.

"I'd do anything for you." Edd said quietly, pulling at his fingers to stop the movement.

"Will you tell me what's wrong then?" Kevin said after a moment of deliberation and leaned his side into the fluffy couch.

Edd froze and squeezed his hands together. "What? Nothing's wrong."

Kevin scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Y'know since we live together I figured you'd tell me the truth."

"I-uhm..." Edd mumbled and looked down at the hands that didn't even feel like his own anymore. If Edd was honest with himself, the trembling wasn't that bad. He would fumble with his utensils such as pencils and forks when he held them but that was it. However the memories from his last relapse kept him on edge about the mere numbness in his hands.

Edd held out a trembling hand to his love. "Look."

"Is that like, low blood sugar? Or what?" Kevin asked as he leaned his face on his hand for support. Edd pursed his lips and pulled his open palm into a fist.