Tell A Lie to Keep A Promise

Cruel Summer

The autopsy said that my grandma died of a brain aneurysm. Death consumed her instantly. They say that when you are in close proximity or have a close encounter with death,that it follows you throughout your life waiting for you to stumble. I imagined death was like a second place runner and I was in 1st, and at every moment he was clipping my feet trying to make me stumble. It was a cat and mouse chase. A race to the finish line for my soul. My father and I had to prepare my grandmother for matriculation into the university of the afterlife. It was painful to see her go and I assumed my psyche was suffering from some post-traumatic stress disorder. I was different. You could tell. The others could tell. This death marked the prerequisite for adulthood. This was the time that socially, physically, and mentally I went from kid to adult.

I painted grandma ma's face with diligence, ease, and swift excellence. She was my canvas and I was obliged to make her face a masterpiece. I wanted her viewers to be taken back in time when they remembered her in all beauty and grandeur. My work needed to pull people away from death. It needed to take them to wherever it is that had them suspended in time and in an experiential reflection of a correlative moment with my grandmother. I wanted to take them away from pain and grief. I think I was finding my passion, my gift, my oneness.  The kids ran around the chairs that were out for sitting Shiva, chasing each other as if they were playing musical chairs. I had five more days before school was out for the summer. I was looking forward to being away but thanks to grandma's death, I'll be stuck in this God forsaken city.

"Excusez-moi, my name is Kassette Dupuis and I met you when you were a little pup. My condolesnces for your loss. This is my grandson," she said as she hit him with her Chanel bag and cane, "Kourosh de Braxton." "Please to meet you mademoiselle, and it's Jules." They were from Canada they were French Canadians. She was very polite and everything about her said exquisite. She had those stained yellow teeth from drinking lots of tea and smoking cigarettes. She was very stylish and petite.

She wore red lipstick that accompanied her red Chanel handbag. She wore some sort of tweed skirt-suit and had the biggest baguette I had ever seen on her ring finger. She talked about how she and my grandmother were best friends from the old country and how I would be playing with her black French poodles in the yard. I vaguely remembered. I was tunning her out because her breath smelled of caviar and Brussel sprouts and my attention was caught by Jules. He was 6'1 around 220 pounds. He was a very stocky young man. Tattoos on his arms, baby blue eyes, black hair maybe dyed pinned up like a japanese, black levis jeans, some form of custom rolled cigarette, and that French swagger-but lumber jack rugged-cool. I watched him as he greeted other occupants within the living room. They all seemed to be caught up in his attractiveness. My vision went into a blur as if I was watching a black and white movie from the 1950's and he was my Cary Grant. I scrutinized his every movement with my eyes, He moved with elegance and with no weaknesses, remaining steadfast like a column not moving to either side unfaltering. When he spoke it commanded attention. I suddenly became hopelessly enamored with his potential, his quality, his manliness. I had to have him. He moved his grandmother out of the way. Almost picking her up like a floor lamp, positioning her in the right feng shui for exiting out of a conversation peacefully. He sat next to me with his legs crossed, not in the feminine way but with his calf muscle resting on the pivot of his left knee. He tossed his thumbs over each other in a counter-clock wise manner and retrieved out from the inside of his coat a flask. He took a sip of some type of elixir.

"How are you holding up kiddo?" He said.

"I am doing alright It hasn't hit me yet," I proclaimed.

"It will at the most un opportune moment in time." He said reluctantly.

"You both came all the way here from Canada just for my grandmother." I excitingly exclaimed.