It is during this time that they fight the most.
They’re exhausted, stressed to the limits, and there is so little room for them to just be together. They can’t go on dates, fuck, have a proper cuddle, or even just watch the sodding tv together.
Louis tries so hard not to burst, not to flame with anger and annoyance and frustration, but god, it’s hard. Something as simple as stubbing his toe can piss him off for the rest of the day and send him into a fit. He knows it isn’t good, and he knows he’s being a prick, and he knows he’s working himself too much and needs to give himself some personal time too.
(He knows that Harry is still going through treatment, still recovering from a lot of disgusting things, and even though he is under a lot of stress himself, it still makes his skin crawl when he goes to bed alone, knowing Harry won’t be following.
The thing is, though, Louis always wakes up in the middle of the night, no matter how hard he worked his arse off the day prior, because an empty bed is never right.
Wrapping the duvet around his shoulders, he always goes out into the living room where Harry is on the couch. Sometimes he’s mindlessly watching the TV on mute, sometimes he just lying awake, and on a few occasions, Louis has found him genuinely asleep.
He lays down on top of him, carefully placing his body on top of Harry’s, wrapping around him, nuzzling his nose into his neck with a lump in his throat. He will sigh, never quite being able to meet Harry’s eyes, and apologise softly, toying with the edges of the duvet.
Harry holds Louis close to his chest, tears burning his eyes, and he apologises for Louis having to work so much for so little in return.
Louis hates it, because even though it doesn’t feel as expressed, Harry is all he ever wants to have - always enough in return.
Things are just rough.
(It’s about choosing that person during your hardest, most excruciating times; to pick them over and over whilst drowning in anything that can drown you, to know that if you’re going down, you only ever want to have them by your side.
It’s about sharing those moments. The ace ones, and the amiss ones, and the rainy day ones.
It is choosing them in the most difficult of times, and also the most ordinarily humane ones. Turning these thick, thespian moments into ones of jokes and laughter, not to change the subject despite it all, because that’s what easy things are, taking the bad and dumping in your most human emotions. Going through it with your hands laced together, no direction for your emotions.)
They have to take out another loan.
It’s a pound of stress added to the cup that’s already overflowing with it, but taking out the loan is buying the necessary equipment and baking supplies needed to get the shop up and running and making money. They don’t have a choice, really.
Around this time, is also when the big break comes in for Louis.
He is with his preschoolers finger-painting. So far he has seen some dogs, some families, some deformed rocks, and his favourite, the little girl who is making a polka-dot flower.
He is smiling and laughing, going around and asking the kids to add their handprint to the large canvas so he can write their name below each one. Despite the tiredness that has planted itself in his bones, he can never deny that overwhelming feeling children give him, making him feel so young and careless and free.
So when he gets called down to the district offices, it is with paint in his hair and smeared across his face and arms. He figures it’s nothing big, probably a performance review since it’s coming up on the end of the year.
