i can get dick anytime i want 》 klance

one 》

dialogue chapter.
bold:hunk
italic:pidge
normal:lance

•••••••

"i can get with anyone i want." lance boasted.

yeah, sure. everyone would be lucky to have you."

"pidge, be nice to lance." hunk chimed in, "but take it from us, we've known you since 1st grade. pidge has a book listing different ways to kill you."

"well, pidge is like that with everybody." lance interrupted.

"i also have a murder book, lance."

"hol' up. there's no way that literal sunshine dreams about killing me??"

"lance, you know i love you very much, but uh you're kinda a little bit um-"

"what hunk is trying to say is that you're an egotistical little bit-"

"pidge!"

"sorry hunk, didn't know you were a baby."

"t-take that back." hunk said in a baby voice, pulling out diapers from his bookbag.

"why do you have diapers in your bookbag?"

"for moments like these."

lance just stared at the two in awe.

"anyways, lance, i bet you can't get with anyone you want."

"but i just said i can."

"what about keith kogane?"

"okay first off, he's a nobody so he doesn't count. i actually think he's part knife or something. he talks to his knife like it's an actual person!"

"i'll give you 20 pieces of garlic br-"

"deal."

"can i also have 20 pieces of garlic bread?"