After The Fall

Earth

Part 2
Earth

Shepard did not dream. No unearthly child stalked the dark forests of her mind. Perhaps it was the drugs. Maybe it was just her injuries which allowed her to sink into blissful blackness. Whatever the reason, when she woke she felt more rested than she had in a long time. Well, her mind felt rested. Her entire body ached. She might have been able to find a few parts of her (a pinky toe perhaps) that didn't hurt, but she didn't care to. She let the soreness wash over her like a familiar wave. This wasn't the pain of before. This was recovery pain, dulled by drugs. Her body was mending. Protesting, but mending.

Somewhere a machine beeped rhythmically as she allowed herself to slip from her dreamless slumber. She let herself wake gradually. Relished it, strangely enough, as she became aware of one thing at a time. First the ache, then the beeping. She was laying under soft blankets, and on a soft mattress. The lights were dim, but she could see ceiling tiles, some of which were charred. The place smelled of smoke, debris and antiseptic. A field hospital. A pretty plush one, she thought as she twitched her fingers over the sheets. Then she became aware of a weight at the end of her bed. Garrus? Her mind asked eagerly.

She could make out the figure in the dimness. It wasn't Garrus who's torso lay against the end of her bed, one arm extending to bridge her legs. Protective, she thought as she studied the figure. Human. Probably male. He was seated in a chair beside her, sleeping with his upper half draped against her bed. She reached down carefully and touched his hair. The man stirred, his other hand sliding from beneath his chest to reveal a crumpled hat clenched in his fingers. "Joker?" Shepard whispered.

He stirred again, then groggily raised his head, blinking at her as though he was not fully aware of what he was seeing. Then his eyes met hers. "Shepard," he exhaled her name as though it was his first breath in a long time. He scooted his chair towards the head of the bed and grabbed her hand. Not in a comforting gesture, as Kaiden had done, but with desperation. He needed to know she was real. Was it really so hopeless? She wondered. Had her chances of survival been so slim? And Joker was crying.

"Hey," Shepard soothed, moving her other arm with difficulty to touch his face. Her arm was bandaged from shoulder to fingers in clean white. "Hey now, what's with the waterworks?"

Tears were running down her pilot's cheeks like rain, and he didn't seem to notice or care, "I...I am so sorry, Shepard," he croaked.

"What? Why? I heard you took great care of my ship," she said, taking his hat from his other hand and straightening it back into form.

"Yea," he scoffed, tears dripped from his stubble onto her sheets. "I took great care of the Normandy, but I left you. I left you, Shepard!" his voice was tight. Furious and full of self loathing. "Why the hell did I pick that moment to start following other people's orders? I never should have left you! I should have come after you!"

"Joker, hey...Jeff. You did the right thing. You protected my people. You knew that was what I wanted."

Joker took his hat as she offered it to him and tugged it on with a practiced motion. He pulled the brim down low to hide his eyes. "I could have done both. I'm the best damn pilot in the galaxy. I could have done both."

"Modest as ever," she chuckled lightly.

A slight smile flashed on his thin lips. His tears had slowed. "I just...after all this. The war. My sister. EDI. All of it, and then I left you. You! You fucking came back for me when the Normandy was getting blown apart. You DIED to save my life, and how do I pay you back?"

"By not letting anyone put a scratch on our baby this time." Shepard said, firmly. "You did good, Joker." She felt a needle stab in her heart. Not the pain of her injuries, but of memory. "You did good, child. You did good." She pushed him from her mind as best she could. She could mourn once she knew the score. Get the full casualty list, then mourn the dead. "Your sister and EDI?" she asked.