Hold On to the Stars // A Daniel Howell Fanfic

Chapter 2

"Um, I'm....sorry about that, I just....didn't mean to..."

He laughs and pulls me onto my feet. "It's totally fine. It's me who should be sorry. I mean, your coffee's spilled, and I'm pretty sure your outfit's ruined." He rakes his hand through his curls as he laughs. I nervously laugh with him, but am still pretty shaken. 

"I'm Daniel," he says. I actually laugh this time. "Oh, trust me, I know who you are. Sorry, that came out kind of stalker-ish. I just meant that I watch your channel. Or used to. But...." He cuts me off. "No, it's fine. Trust me, I said a lot of very stalker-ish things when I first met Phil. So, do you have a name?"

"Oh, Brooke. Brooke Ashaye." Now that I'm not sitting on the sidewalk, I can appreciate how much he's changed since I watched his videos. He's actually gotten taller, and he's filled in, no longer the awkward teenager I loved. And, if I'm honest, he's actually gotten really hot. I pull myself back into reality as he says, "I really like the name Brooke, actually."

We both watch for a second as Phil keeps picking up my scattered things, then move to help. Some people stare a little bit at the two tall men and short girl grabbing things off of the pavement, but nobody actually stops, which I appreciate. After everything is back in my purse (and Julia is still suspiciously missing), Phil says, "Um, I really should get these groceries back home. Dan, make sure she's okay, will you," then walks off. I could be wrong, but as he hails a cab, I could swear he winks at Dan. 

Dan and I awkwardly stand together as Phil leaves. Then he says, "Hey, I owe you a drink. I actually know a place that has pretty good coffee, if you want to get something. I could actually go with you, if you wanted. Or, I mean, if you don't then I don't have to, I was just..."

Oh my god. OH MY GOD. Did Daniel Howell actually just ask me if I wanted to get coffee with him? He's probably just doing it because he feels bad about my spilled latte, but still. I'm about to say "Sure" when suddenly my chest tightens. Suddenly it's really hard to breathe and everything just feels off. I don't know how I manage to talk, but I find myself saying, "Actually, I have to get to my flat to unpack. My friend's waiting for me. I'm really sorry, but I've got to go." 

His smile fades a little bit. "Oh. Yeah. I understand. Definitely. But if you ever needed someone to show you around...or you just wanted to talk...I'll be here in London." I nod somehow, then quickly walk away. 

Julia appears out of nowhere. "What the hell? He just asked if you wanted to go get coffee? Like, on a DATE." I can't focus on her though. "Julia, no, you don't understand. I.....I can't breathe. I have....these panic attacks....I just need to stop..." Immediately she's super concerned. 

"Ok. Ok. Come on. Let's just get you to your flat. Then it'll be fine, and you can stay there as long as you need to." We get a cab and I lean against her, hoping the feeling will stop soon. The whole ride there, I can't stop thinking that maybe I should have just dealt with how I was feeling and said ok. After all, I should be used to this by now. 

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We finally get to the building. Julia still looks really worried about me, and I can't blame her. As we walk past a mirror in the entryway, my reflection stares back, even paler than usual, and dark circles ringing my eyes. 

We walk up about a dozen flights of stairs and finally get to my door. Julia stops. "Listen, there's something I didn't tell you about the flat." I look her dead in the eyes. She looks serious. Is there a crack in a wall? Do I have a roommate she didn't tell me about? Did something bad happen in the flat? Did somebody die in the flat?

She pulls a key out of her purse and hands it to me. "Really, you should just see it for yourself." Expecting the worst, I hesitantly unlock the door, then open it. And what I see isn't bad. It's actually kind of amazing. 

I'm standing in Dan and Phil's old flat.