Life or Death, Love or Hate.

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(A/N: Ellie Golding, Your Song. "It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside, I'm not one of those who can easily hide. " 

Your Winter - Sister Hazel. "What else, what else can't I do? I said I'm sorry, yeah I'm sorry." 

I warn you, this chapter may be upsetting, it may be triggering for those of my readers who self- harm. If you do, then skip to the end and I have some website links that are helful. I recommend Off The Record for someone to talk to; they helped me. But all of them give tips on how to cope witht he urges to self harm. Xox

Although I'd say this chapter mostly tells you how to cope - there are lots of emotional bits.

Also, sorry I took so long. I was accumilating so many reads and votes that I sort of was a bit nervous about writing this chapter. It was quite hard to write, as lots of it is taken from people I know and how they are and how to help and stuff. But it's also romantic, and yeah, I hope you enjoy it. If it's too upsetting, tell me, and I'll re-write it. I tried to make it more positive, though.  Xoxox )) 

Next Morning.

Dear Diary,

I'm sorry, I was really drained after everything last night, and I fell asleep. So, yeah.

Anyway, when I realised Irene was gone my mind instantly turned to Sherlock. That's when it first really hit me: he was in danger. Catching up with my brain, my legs started moving, fast. 

I turned left, out of the alley, down the main road; running  towards the university. I could tell where I was by the pools of light I raced through. My heart caught up the pace as finally the last cog in my mind turned to realise that Sherlock, my Sherlock, could really be dying, right now. He could be dea-

Luckily before I could finish that thought I realised that I didn't know if he was actually in the university. I stopped abruptly, startling a drunk who'd been sagging closer to me. They drew their sharp keys back, as I pulled out my phone. 

Sherlock, where are you? JM x

I stayed there, stuck in the middle of the freezing cold street, holding my breath, until he replied.

My room, the university -SH x

I sighed, my breath coming out as a bath of steam. Then, annoyed, I thought, surely he must have realised I didn't know where that was? At least he wasn't de-

Before I had the chance to think the thought that made my heart flutter and my kness buckle, he replied.

221B - Hurry! -SH x

That meant his dorm' was right next to mine. I stuffed my phone back in my pocket and started jogging.  

Every few seconds I got an image of Sherlock, bloody, beaten up, filling up my mind's eye. His angel face was contorted in agony. Each time it was like someone shoved a metal spike into my eye. It wasn't pleasant, I can assure you. 

I picked up the pace, once again running.

It was freezing cold, and I'd had to unzip my coat to get my mobile from my suit pocket. I hadn't wasted time on doing it back up. So I was running through the slicing wind, coat billowing behind me, eyes watering in the cold, for Sherlock. God, what a fool. 

That is, untill I reached campus. Not bothering with paths I cut accross the wet grass and mud - in my only pair of nice leather shoes - to barge through his dorm's doors. 

I pushed past the people staring at me like startled puppy-dogs. I made my way upstairs, banging into every other person and not stopping. In the end I was in a hallway like my own, and finding 221B. When I got there I drew a deep, shattering breath and opened his door. 

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