Lies that's all I can say. What you hear about me is all lies. None of what they say is true, you know that right? Every single word they say, my voices, are lies. I've figured that out now, but unfortunately I realised this too late. I'm trapped, you know? To everyone else, I'm breathing perfectly fine, but inside I'm screaming, drowning, in my own thoughts. My own ideas... Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like, without the voices, without the pain, with happiness. With joy, you know? I just, want to be happy. And I think the first time I was truly happy... was when I saw that white light... and all I could hear was the white noise. And the darkness, oh how it consumed me, how it drowned me. How it made me feel welcome, made me feel happy again.
It's at this moment, I realise how much I am going to loose. I can hear them, the things I'm going to loose, you know? For some reason, I just think of a music video.. I'm talking about panic at the disco's; This Is Gospel, more specifically the ending. How Brendon, he's running towards the light...Towards the white light, towards the white noise. But it just seems like I'm getting further away from the white light, from the white noise.
I fell electricity, running through my veins. I do not know how. I do not know why. I beginning to fell like I'm floating no, falling. Yes, falling. I'm falling deeper and deeper. Another jolt of electricity and the white noise disappears and it turns into thuds. The white light, its not white anymore, its becoming pinker- no reader. I can hear business, shouting... I cam feel cold metal against my chest. I can see redness, just redness. The sight you see when you close your eyes. I can feel rough hands on my skin, there hot skin burning mine. Trying. I'm trying to more my fingers. Trying to open my eyes. I can finally feel myself floating, floating towards the surface. Finally able to open my eyes. I open my mouth to speak, to say hello to my mom, my dad, but they... they aren't there... I don't remember them. What do my parents look like? What do they sound like? I try to remember, I really do... I just can't/ I look around me, theres a boy.. holding my hand. A woman, a man holding a child....
Actually, now I try to remember, who are these people? I realise I don't even remember my own name.... or why I'm here... how I got here...
"Who am I?" are the firsts words that escape my lips, I could tell they hurt those around me... The faces of the ones in the room showing pain, showing sorrow, showing slight anger...
