Jumbled Heartaches

Soaked

Jenny

I'm sitting in bed, staring at my ceiling.
Zoe is sitting on her bed in silence, staring at me.
Yesterday was Friday. It's Saturday.
I haven't wanted to speak about it.
"So go over it again." Zoe says.
"I've been over it three times, Zoe." I say.
"So you fell in the mud, he picked you up. You took the clothes off because they were covered in mud, correct?"
"Yes." I say, frustrated.
"And then he stared at you. Not your body, but your face, correct?"
"Yes."
"And you stared back, and then he snapped at you for staring, and you told him you were waiting for him."
"Right."
"Then he pulled you up and you rode back with your forehead on his back and your arms around his waist?"
"Correct."
"And then you got back and he was studying you again, in front of everyone, and then Jacob tried to go at you and he broke his nose for it?"
"Yes."
"Jenny, pinhead asshole punched his best friend to defend you. He doesn't defend anyone."
"I know."
"Jenny, don't you see?"
I sigh.
"I swear Zoe, if I hear about this again, I'm going to get pissed. Leave it be."
I love Saturdays. We can do whatever we want with no bedtime. Friday's there isn't a bedtime either.
It's around noon though.
I get up and leave the room.
I have sweats and a jacket on. It's chilly outside. I put on black beat up converse.
I skipped my last period yesterday and ended up in therapy for three hours again, and then I didn't go to dinner and I skipped breakfast this morning.
I don't want to see him.
I don't want to hear about him. He was the first person to defend me and now I owe him.
Now though, I'm so hungry that I'm lightheaded.
I walk to the cafeteria and get wings and bleu cheese and French fries and a coke.
I sit as far from everyone as possible, and I eat, and then I walk out to the library.
I get a book and sit down against a tree outside.
I read for a while, and then when dinner comes, I go back to the cafeteria.
This time though, Zoe is there.
People are looking at me more now than before.
I sit down with my best friend across the cafeteria.
Everyone is talking loudly and laughing.
"Jenny, don't freak out, but-"
She cuts off when somebody sits down next to me.
I turn my head.
Ian.
"Hello." He says.
What the fuck?
Ignore him. He's a dick.
"Goodbye." I say.
He looks angry.
"What?"
"I said goodbye. Go away."
His nostrils flare.
"What the fuck did you just say to me?" He asks loudly. Everyone goes silent and turns.
Zoe stays silent.
"I said go the fuck away." I hiss.
He stands up.
"I saved your fucking life yesterday." He snarls.
"I'm well aware, and I said thank you. You're a fucking pinhead asshole and everyone knows it, so I don't want to talk to you. Thank you for helping me, now go away."
He looks livid, and he starts to raise his hand, but his eyes lock with mine.
He drops it, and it slaps loudly against his thigh.
His eyebrows are furrowed and he looks so frustrated.
Without a word, he turns around and stalks off.
I go back to eating.
I hate him so much.
Zoe looks shocked.
The intercom comes on.
"There is a meeting in the auditorium at six. Everyone is expected to be there."
That's ten minutes from now.
I finish eating, irritated, and head to the auditorium with Zoe.
Ian is in here, away from Jacob.
Everyone has filled the place.
There's two spots next to Ian. Fuck no.
Zoe smirks though, and walks right over to him, sitting down, leaving one chair between the two of them.
Irritated, I walk over there and sit down next to him.
He looks up when I sit down.
"Don't fucking sit next to me." He snaps.
"Don't tell me what to do."
He looks enraged.
"Listen here, bitch-"
"If everyone could settle down..." Principal Custer says.
I glare at Ian before everything falls silent.
He shakes his head, livid.
He starts talking about how next Tuesday we don't have class because homecoming is Saturday and our parents are coming Tuesday for us to go shopping. If they don't come we can go to the school shop and rent a dress.
We can't leave campus without our parents.
"So you guys have one week to find a date."
I didn't go to any of the dances last year, but it's my senior year.
"Now everyone go on."
I get up to leave, but Ian grabs my wrist.
"You are going to talk to me." He says.
I rip my arm from his grip.
"No I'm not."
I start to walk away, but everyone is silent and he follows me.
"You don't have a fucking choice." He growls. "Come over here and talk to me right now."
What a dildo.
I rip my hand from his.
"Don't touch me."
He follows me, and he's starting to scare me.
"Talk to me, dammit!"
I make it to the door, and he's right behind me.
Everyone seems to be scared for me.
Especially Zoe.
She's shaking.
She's probably having flashbacks.
He has a death grip on my wrist, refusing to let me walk out the door.
"Please let me go." I whisper. I fully look at him, making eye contact with him.
Immediately, he drops his hand.
I turn around and walk out.
What is with this bitch?
I sigh, frustrated.
I need to go to the gym.
I storm to the gym, walking inside.
I work out, hard.
I work out until I'm convinced I'm going to pass out, and then I stop and go to my dorm. I shower and sit down in bed.
Zoe is sitting there, staring at me.
I cringe under her eyes.
"Can you not?"
"Jenny," she starts.
Someone knocks on the door.
I look down at my clothes.
I'm in sweats and a tank top.
I hesitate, and slowly, I go open the door.
Ian stands there.
I roll my eyes and start to shut the door.
"May I please talk to you?" He asks quietly, calmly.
I hesitate, looking at him for a long time.
"Fine." I say.
"We can go on a walk." He suggests.
I shove my feet in flip flops and pull a black hoodie on and follow him out of the room.
I put my hood up, but he gently reaches up and pulls it back down.
"I'd like to see you when I talk." He says.
I leave the hood down, walking next to him.
He walks, messing with his fingers.
It's silent. He holds the door for me.
"Why do you eat alone?" He asks.
"I don't want to talk about me, Ian." I say.
"I'm sorry." He says.
"It's fine."
"I'm sorry." He repeats. "For being a dick earlier. Do you really think I'm an asshole?"
I look at him.
"You have broken more noses than I've seen in my life."
"I'm sorry." He says.
"I forgive you." I say.
"Will you tell me why you eat alone now?"
Dicks don't change like that. He's still an asshole. I'm not going to tell him anything.
I just stay silent.
I want to walk away.
He looks down, nodding to himself.
"It was nice to talk to you, Jennifer."
I mumble, "you too." and walk away.
"Why won't you talk to me?" He calls back.
I turn around.
"Because I don't want to."
He looks angry then.
"Just do it anyways." He says, pissed.
I roll my eyes.
"You know, I start.
He dumps his ice cold water bottle on my head.
People who were walking turn to stare.
I stand there, dripping.
He immediately looks sorry, and just as he opens his mouth to apologize, I raise my hand and slap him, hard.
Fucking dick.