It Is Just In Your Mind

Count the sheeps

 /You can play the song above to better  enjoy reading this chapter :)/

Madness...

Sadness...

Sorrow...

Desperation...

But also excitment....

They are deadening her mind, growing in her, slowly infiltrating her body, engulfing her, swallowing her whole. Pressing her knees against her chest, she held her head with shaking hands.

"2061... 2062....2063..."

"Count the ships that would help you to sleep"

She swears she has counted all of the damn stars in the sky, yet it is 4 am and she can't sleep. She is feeling it. Feeling this extreme madness; this sweet excitement mixed with sour desperation, those contradictory feelings inhabiting her soul. The  thoughts of change; thoughts of getting herself out of the shit she is living are possessing her. Yet she can't even move her fist, she can't get herself out of bed. Insomnia is rocking her, those crazy thoughts haunted her,  preventing her from the slightest right of sleeping. Tears flow down her cheeks

She got out of her bed. She's got no more the control of her body. She went straight to the toilet and looked to the glassy mirror. Her eyes were so filled with tears, she couldn't even see her own reflection. Adrenaline is flowing through her veins, she coudn't stop her hand from holding that scissors. She is going to do it. She is going to change it all...

BIP BIPBIP BIP

This annoying sound of the alarm is seriously getting her on her nerves.She doesn't want to wake up, she has got terrible headache. For a moment she thought about escaping school.But After 5minutes of serious consideration, she finally decided to wake up. Like usual, she went to the bathroom to wash her face. And here was the big surprise.

"What did I do to myself ?!!!"

She held her head between her hands. She couldn't believe her eyes.

The crybaby tears are coming back again. She started cursing herself. How mad last night did she get ?!!She can't go like this to the school. Everyone will think she is a retarded, everyone will pay attention to her. Hell no she isn't ready for that. But there is nothing left to do she has to face this problem like a mature person.She wore her hoodie, and put the hood on, and went down the stairs running to the door

"Lydia you won't eat again today??!!"

"No mom sorry i have to hurry up"

"Don't go seriousl..."

She couldn't finish her sentence, Lydia is already gone.She got to the classroom the first as usual and sat in her place. Students got in, everything was going right until the teacher said

" Mrs. Anderson , can you please take off your hood "

Everyone looked at her. Her face warmed and turned completely red, and she could no more breath. No voice came out of her mouth, she just looked to the teacher and didn't know what to say.

"Mrs. Anderson i am talking to you. This is against the dress code please take it off"

Yet no voice came out of her mouth she just kept looking to the teacher as heart was racing against time.

"Mrs ANDERSON I AM TALKING TO YOU"

"My god just take off your freaking hood" said one boy

"We aint got  time for your shit"" said the one sitting next to him, laughing.