khnm oneshots

serinuma pt 2 (6x4)

*read authors note at the end!*

Mutsumi runs through the pounding rain, his clothes soaking and his silent tears mixing with the hard raindrops that fell onto his face. He couldn't handle these feelings, he couldn't cheat, he tried so hard to maintain his romantic feelings for Serinuma but he just couldn't.

Why am I like this? I'm dating one of my best friends and I have a fine relationship with her.... but my mind keeps traveling to the boy I never noticed.

He stopped for a moment to catch his breath. Why did I ignore my feelings in the first place? Why did I push my developing feelings for Shinomiya away until it came back, strong and vibrant, and at the worst time too? I've never even shown enough affection for the boy, and only shown interest in Serinuma. Well, I got what I wished for. And I don't feel happy.

Mutsumi puts his face in his hands and weeps frustrated, quiet tears.

It's too late. We kissed today, and it was different. There was something new, a spark of light. And just for a second...

I thought it was Shinomiya.

I wish it was Shinomiya.

Mutsumi hates this feeling. Of guilt. Guilt that he never did anything with his feelings for Shinomiya. Guilt that he was supposed to love his girlfriend, but felt the urge to be with another. Guilt that he questioned everything.

He just didn't understand.

His heart, his mind, and most of all, just himself in general.

I don't understand...

The boy stands there solemnly, weeping bitterly and trying to come up with desperate solutions in his mind. The smell of sweet rain and the hard droplets are drowned out to just his hollow surroundings. He doesn't feel like he can breathe anymore.

He's torn.

The sound of a car pulls up beside him, but the boy could only hear the hard rain and his muffled cries.

"Mutsumi-senpai...? Are you okay?" a concerned voice calls. Mu lifts his head to see a vibrant shine of car headlights in front of the sidewalk. He looks around, only to find that the house he just so happened to cry in front of was, in fact, Nishina's mansion. The girl quickly hops out of the limo and dismisses it, before hurriedly rushing to him.

Mu shakes his head as more tears escaped his eyes. Nishina engulfs him into a comforting hug and whispers a few "it's okay"s into his ear. She is slightly confused to why someone so happy and easygoing was so distraught and why. They weren't very close, but they were friends nevertheless, so Nishina was genuinely concerned about him.

"Okay.. let's go inside.." she whispers as she led the heartbroken boy into her home. The sight of Mutsumi weeping almost made her want to cry to, but she remained calm and comforting, supplying him with blankets and hot tea.

They sat in silence for a few moments. Mu was still trembling from the built-up emotions inside of him; he felt almost lifeless.

"Mutsumi, if you don't mind me asking, why are you sad?"

"S-" he starts, before his eyes widen and tears begin to form again. "Shinomiya."

Nishina's face fell. No, no, no no! He must've found out about the Serinuma-Shinomiya switch thing! This is my fault!

"Mutsumi!" she yells urgently, "please don't blame Shinomiya, it was me who requested-"

"Huh?" Mu questions, confusion etched on his face. "How could you be at fault for my  feelings?"