Diving IN

PROLOGUE:

My heart had dropped a million stories, maybe even farther.

I couldn't believe what I had seen. Quickly, I clasped my hands to my face, trying to erase the images now implanted in my head. The last 4 years of my high school life flashed by in my mind, making me want to throw up.

oh my god! How could I have been so fucking stupid!!

No, okay maybe it's not what it seems.. I tried to convince my heart that it wasn't, but the past had come back to haunt me. The fear I had, had finally come true. And my world I knew, had came crashing down onto me, taking me under it.

I replayed the last 24 hours in my head, wondering what I did wrong. Every thought I could even muster up angered me inside.

This can't be true.. It CAN'T.. No.... Why

I tried to fight of this feeling,. but I couldn't. There was no way of running. I knew everything and nothing all at once. He was a liar, and he was having the time of his life. I was stuck in a room with an ache in my heart and head , the size of Texas and makeup running down my cheeks like black waterfalls. So I slept in my tears, trying to wait until I could know the truth.

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12:00 Am

I woke up with puffy eyes and a red nose and the ache in my heart still deep even though it took my mind a while to remember why. My chest felt like it had been stabbed 20 times and my stomach felt like it had been punched until I bled. I felt like I woke up from a nightmare and fell into an even worse one that I just couldn't shake. It all ran back through my mind.

I had no idea what to expect.

Everything had been toppsyturvy.

I'd lie if I said I didn't see it coming. It didn't feel like usual. That was the problem, it hadn't lately. The light I had seen for years, was still there, but something in the pit of my stomach, where every bad feeling went to live, told me it would be fading as fast as it came.

And now, it was worse, so much worse. I couldn't look at the name on the screen of my phone that I had loved, without wanting to throw it across the room. A part of e even wanted to pretend like I knew nothing or it wasn't happening and carry on like nothing. But I had to find out. I had to stand up for myself, or I'd be blinded and  worst of all, stuck.

He'd be furious! This isn't fair! You can't let him get away with it, Al!

With deep breaths, I searched for the strength I needed.

"Sorry Al, my phone died." Read the little black words across the screen.

Anger raddled inside of me like a rattle snake, waiting to bite. I could  not believe what I was seeing. So short, so stupid, such lies. But I composed my tears and shaking hands to reply as normal as possible.

"Its okay. Call me?" I wrote back as soon as I could, not wanting to waste another minute.

I inhaled deeply, fighting the tears already streaming down my face, finding the courage un my voice. And just like that, the name I now dreaded, popped up on the screen with the love struck ring tone.

I cried as hard as I could for a second, gathered my voice, sniffed up my heartbreak boogers and answered.

"Hey babe!" His voice jumped up, making my heart drop lower.

I bit back the lump forming I n my throat wanting to attack my face with tears.

"How was Homecoming?" , I forced out through gritted teeth, ready to pounce when the moment was right.